My melancholy mood lingered for days as I blogged about the fun holidays we all had. I got up to stretch fairly often, slowly collecting Christmas decorations and putting them on a table to stow away, which made me all the more sad to see the season end.
Each photo I put on my blog, brought a smile to my face, but a lump in my throat as I thought about all those I dearly love and care for, and now miss them more than usual.
I wondered why I get so melancholy after those I love depart for what is usually an unknow amount of time.
AI Overview stated - 'The immediate feeling of melancholy after loved ones leave is often more intense because of the sharp contrast between the joy of their presence and the sudden absence.' The departing of loved ones can trigger a stronger emotional response compared to the more subtle feelings of them being gone, after time has passed to process the absence.
Quora said 'When someone is around, we are actively engaged in positive emotions associated with their company. The moment they leave, there's a sudden shift to a "neutral" state, which can feel like a drop in emotional energy, leading to sadness.'
This bronze sculpture, called Mélancolie, is a heartbreakingly beautiful artwork created by Albert György to depict what words could never describe: a huge emptiness when someone (in his case his wife had passed away) is gone.
I feel that emptiness at times but thankfully it is temporary. I am grateful that I have the expectations of seeing my beloved family members again, some sooner than others. Hopefully most of them will make it to Britney's Stateside wedding reception here in Fairfield Glade in August. And I will get to see her and Juan Carlos in July for their wedding!
Saturday 1/4 - It was 23° when I was walking Maggie at 4:15am. I got started on my next blog and stayed at it most of the day. In the spirit of our beloved cats, Britney sent a photo of her lounging at home with her cat Lupe, adding to all of our cat photos we had shared with each other. Lupe looks very happy to have Britney home.
Mama Styx came out of hiding (after flea treatment) and was enjoying the view as much as I was.
But then I noticed the squirrel in this tree was chewing on the hole to the bird house, so I had to knock on the window (a few times) to stop it.
Breaks from blogging included stowing things away, like clean sheets and towels, some Christmas stuff, and emptying the dishwasher. Putting Britney and Juan Carlos' Christmas mugs to the back of the cupboard made me feel melancholy all over again.
The dog and different cats (this is Babe) spent time in front of the space heater, which was also keeping me warm as I sat here working on last week's (very late) blog. My sunroom/cattery gets cold when the temperature drops below 40, it is cloudy, or it is windy. Today it was all three.
While on the elliptical at the gym late afternoon, I saw President Joe Biden award Anthropologist Jane Goodall with the Medal Of Freedom. How nice and deserving.
Sunday 1/5 - I had gotten a text about no church at 9:30 last night, after I was snuggled in my warm blanket cocoon with the lights out. The weather wasn't bad during my early morning dog walk. And rather than snow, it later started raining lightly.
I was getting a kick out of all the memes on Facebook about the weather predictions. Basically, no one has much faith in the forecasts anymore. I realize the difficulty in getting it correct, but wonder if they exaggerate the prediction to keep us glued for weather up-dates.
As I was thinking Church would have been doable, I noticed the rain had started freezing and ice was forming on cold surfaces. An 'abundance of caution' is always a good call when dealing with people's safety.
Monita was staying warm, curled up in one of Stevie's old favorite spots, which added to my melancholy state.
I read that feelings of melancholy can be exacerbated by looking at depressing images, listening to melancholy music, or thinking about sad things. So I try to stay away from that stuff. However, after talking to Britney on the phone, I then listen to several love songs in connection to the popular wedding song 'A Thousand Years' that Juan Carlos had shared with me.
When I was pulling leftovers out of the fridge (food bought for Britney and Juan Carlos) I got all sentimental again. I made a pot of soup for a late lunch, using up the cream cheese, lactose free milk and corned beef that otherwise might have gone to waste.
I keep an eye on the rhododendron leaves since the bush is right outside our bathroom window. It is a way to keep tabs on the temperature. It's leaves start to curl under 35° and get tight like a pencil under 20°. This curling-uncurling characteristic makes the rhododendron Mother Nature’s winter thermometer. There was ice on them, but it was still above freezing.
This Christmas 'crap' collecting on the puzzle table is just the beginning of a larger mess to come. I really need to wait before taking much more down, and get what I have taken down stored away. I also want to free up the puzzle table.
Right before bed I finally finished and posted last week's blog. It was pouring rain and had been for a few hours. It had also gotten very windy, but freezing temperatures weren't to arrive until after sun-up.
Monday 1/6 - It was 41° when I walked Maggie at 5am and it just kept getting colder. I was thankful that the harsh winds that had blown most of the night, had finally died down. Just before sun-up Maggie barked at a black cat near our deck, which then ran off, so I went out to check on Rose. There was no sign of her or the other cat. I hated that Rose had been 'run off' from the protected sleeping spot I had made for her. Her food and water were also gone.
A light precipitation started and as the temperature dropped, it changed to ice pellets, and then snow.
For a little bit we had some big snowflakes falling (video). I am totally with my sister Jean when she said "Oddly a part of me is still conditioned to get excited for snow storms in hopes of a snow day.” This morning the rhododendron leaves showed that it wasn't freezing and that we'd had snow.
I had thought about a much needed trip to town but then got a text that the gym was closed all day, so had second thoughts. Staying home was a good excuse to finally catch up on my blogging, so I started this post and did get all caught up. This was the second day in a row that I never got out of my PJs.
I had taken the above photo to show the amount of snowfall we had gotten (hardly any). Can you see the hawk? I had seen it fly to his perch in the tree and was watching him. He spent a few hours down back waiting to catch something, rotating his head regularly as he kept an eye out. (I was watching through binoculars.) Hawks will go after fish and frogs down by the pond, squirrel and chipmunks at the deer corn, and sometimes birds at my feeders.
Here is another photo of the hawk on a different branch. I never saw him fly off, so don't know if he caught anything.
Below, the 21° rhododendron leaves before nightfall, not pencil tight, but getting there.
Unfortunately, the frigid cold that the Arctic had sent down, made being outside with the horses unappealing, so it was impossible to go ride or even hang out with my horses, so I didn’t even have that to help with my melancholy mood.
The genetic test kit came in the mail, so I read and then carefully followed the instructions to collect my saliva.
I had brought in all the outdoor decorations before the snow, and laid them out in the garage to dry. After dinner I put away some of them and neatly piled the others until I had the storage bin they go into, down from the bunkroom.
Mid afternoon today, Joe posted a 'room for rent' in hopes we could draw a little more income out at the ranch house and have somebody out there full time, watching over the place.
We were going to start season 6 of Virgin River but realized we hadn't watched season 5, so we started that.
Joe got a phone call that interrupted our TV time, and lasted quite while. Then he saw that he had several text messages from different people, about the room for rent.
Tuesday 1/7 - By this morning, ten people had expressed interest in renting the room at the ranch. I had an eye Dr. apt. at 9am. I knew my vision had changed. Well it turns out my near and far sight was the same, but my astigmatism was noticeably different. I have an old pair of glasses I am putting new reading lenses in, and my driving glasses will get new lenses also. Luckily I have my 2year old progressive glasses I use here at my computer that I can use for both reading and driving.
I dropped the genetic test kit in a Fed-X drop box, shopped at Tractor Supply and Walmart and then went straight to the ranch.
Joe and I met with Charles, the first gentleman (a 65yr old retired man from TN) that had called last night. He loves the ranch house and rooming situation and is very interested in renting it.
Chores weren't too bad because Betty already de-iced (broke with a hammer and scooped out the ice) the two water tanks. Also there was no wind which really helps. But gosh, it would be nice to get some sunshine.
I had to switch to the metal pitch fork to scoop frozen manure up that was embedded to the ground.
Getting home at 4:30, I was out of time, energy, and motivation to go to the gym, or do anything else other than unload groceries and supplies.
Wednesday 1/8 - We had the farrier at 9:45 this morning, so I was out bringing in horses at 9:15. We had the front barn doors shut and the farrier set up his high powered heater (seen in photo) to warm the barn a little. The loud noise of the heater worried the horses some, but all four did great. I was fairly comfortable but still thought it was cold. I don't know how these two can work in this cold.
I helped Betty de-ice the lower paddock water tank. We thought we'd try leaving it partially covered because I had read if your water tank is frozen, it's generally best to just create a hole in the ice on the surface for drinking rather than removing the entire ice layer from the top of the tank. This is because the ice layer on top acts as an insulating layer, keeping the water below from freezing as quickly, while removing it completely could lead to the remaining water freezing faster.
The pond had not been frozen yesterday, but was today. Burrr!
I got home from the ranch at 11:30, had a big hot bowl of leftover soup, followed by a cup of tea to warm up. It didn't work, so I crawled under the covers on our bed and took a nap.
The little rhododendron, pencil leaf curls got even tighter, and never showed any signs of uncurling.
I was struggling to warm up and get myself going... I really needed to hit the gym, but never made it. Once up from my nap, I ended up just standing in our shower, letting the hot water pour over me and relax and warm me. I hate this feeling of lethargy and don’t know if it’s a result of the melancholy or contributes to me being melancholy. Days without sunshine or being able to go out and enjoy some warm air, really affects me.
Thursday 1/9 - It was 12° when I was up and outside walking Maggie at 5am. Rose was delighted to get fed earlier than usual.
At sun up, it proved to be a beautiful sun-shiny day. I was going to take a photo of the cats in the sun but forgot until late afternoon, so tried to re-enact it by giving them treats on the cat tower. You'll just have to trust that they spent much of the day lounging in the sun, seeming to really enjoy its warm rays.
Joe and I spent a fair amount of time finalizing the wording of the lease agreement for the master suite at the ranch house, which Joe later got signed by Charles.
As of noon, the public schools had already announced they would be closed tomorrow. And by mid afternoon Fairfield Glade announced that all its amenities would be closed. Everybody’s getting ready to hunker down, stay put, and shelter in place during the imminent snow storm.
I finally made it to the gym after dropping in at the library and Kroger Rx. I had a fairly decent workout. I had asked Elaine for help, and she corrected me on my form for one exercise. I also found out that Greg (a very happy, positive, employee) had been moved to a different facility and will no longer be at the gym. This really saddened me. He was such a great motivator to everybody. I hit an estate sale on the way home.
The sun was still lingering at the 5:00 feeding time. I like that the days are getting longer and I can't wait for them to start getting warmer.
Friday 1/10 - At the gym the night before, they told me they would be open today as long as possible/the roads were safe for travel. I decided to go, after my first cup of tea, cause I expected I wouldn't be back until Monday. The snow started at 8:30 and this is how it looked when I left at 9am.
Once home, I got into warm ranch clothes and went, with Joe driving, to the ranch. Westchester was already covered in snow.
The herd of four horses needed a new round bale, so we took care of that first.
Banner was the project supervisor...
...while the peanut gallery of three kept their distance, but looked on.
These four were so happy to have more hay, even though there was still a fair amount of older hay on the ground.
Betty arrived and cleared ice off the lower water tank and then walked up with me to check on the hay for our two boys. Rico, followed by Dorado, came to see us.
My boy Rico, so cute in the snow.
Betty 'fluffed' the hay they had while her boy Dorado watched.
He, and soon Rico were having a taste.
Once finished outside, including quick care for the chickens, we went in to show Betty how to operate the wall heater, TV, and were to sleep. She will be out there the next two nights so others don't have to risk traveling on the bad roads. As we left, I snapped this photo, capturing all six horses.
The salt truck had hit Westchester, so it was much better on our return drive home.
Before removing my layers of outdoor clothing, I filled the bird feeders, deer corn, and looked for Rose to feed her. She was not around, so I would wait till she showed back up.
Then, from the comfort of my office, I watched the beauty beyond my windows, birds at the feeders, and the snow accumulate.
It was a winter wonderland.
After working on Christmas clean-up for about 90 minutes, I rewarded myself by starting the 12 days of Christmas count-down calendar Courtney gave me. Better late than never, right?
There were twelve numbered baggies with approximately 83 pieces each, to make this 1000 piece puzzle.
Baggie #1 - Merry Christmas. Oh wait, was I supposed to start with #12 and work to #1, for the 12 days before Christmas? Either way, it was going to be fun. And with the snow outside, it felt Christmasy all over again.
While doing my evening feeding chores here inside the house, I noticed deer down back.
They had to nuzzle their way through the snow to get to the buried corn.
I was so thankful that Betty was out at the ranch so that none of us had to try to drive out there.
She took this (video) when out doing feeding chores in the afternoon. By now, it was sleeting here and out there.
I took these three still shots of Rico from the video. His ice and snow cover actually shows that he is warm underneath his 'fluffy' coat.
It gave both a cute and a majestic air about him.
Joe and I watched Virgin River for two hours. As I was going to bed, I got this beautiful photo from Betty, taken in the moonlight.
Good night.