Under Control

I am a little bit OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) so have a strong need to control everything in an attempt to reduce anxiety and fears.  I have troubles coping when things don’t go to plan, change unexpectedly, or aren't just as I envision they should be.  I continue to work on 'letting things go' and try not to worry about what I perceive as imperfections. 

According to PsychCentral, "Feeling the need to be in control is natural. It's when we try to control everything that we create unnecessary stress and anxiety that can hold us back. It's important to realize that we can never control everything.  Being in control of your life sounds like a positive thing, and in most cases, it can be.  But for some people, the need to control everything can become all-consuming.  Like most aspects of mental health, controlling behaviors exist on a spectrum — most people experience them to some degree." 

Slowly things in my life are getting back under control.  We’ve just about gotten rid of every flea in the house, with just an occasional one popping up here or there on a cat.  My cold is improving and my body is nearly back to normal from surgery.  Plans and arrangements for a new boarder (Betty) are solidifying.  Stevie seems to be improving.  The only thing that’s not totally in control, is the horse buying endeavor.

Saturday 9/7 - I did not sleep well at all.  I had been riddled with coughing attacks, off and on, all night.  I got up at 5am but my headache was so bad, I had a glass of milk and a Tylenol, and went back to bed.  I got up again at 7am.  The headache was a little better but I was still coughing my lungs out.

Joe went with me to help with chores because I did not feel up to the task.  He mucked, while I brought Amiga in and gave her a Previcox. 

I took these photos after I had turned Amiga back out and was walking, with Zorro and Cowboy's fly masks, to put them on.  The horse crew and project supervisor were keeping an eye on Joe. 



We got home at 9am and I went back to bed for another hour.  I figured this was just a terrible cold because many folks have the same affliction.  Although I was now considering the possibility of Covid, but I didn't have a test kit to find out.  Last week I thought at first it was just allergies, but it has moved to my chest, with a horrible cough, and unbearable headache.

Oh, I forgot to mention, last Friday I got a call from the vet to give me the results of the Stevie's blood test.  


He didn’t mention thyroid or kidney problems, but said her liver enzymes are really off.  He said it could be caused by feline hepatitis or possibly liver cancer.  I chose not to do anymore costly diagnostics, but we did decide to try the steroids to treat possible irritable bowel disease.  I gave her the first dose Friday afternoon.  When I gave her the second dose this afternoon, she spit all or most of it out.  If only I could control my pets (including Amiga) to get them to take their oral medicines. 



Joe had helped me put flea medicine (it was time for their monthly dose) on the cats before he left for golf.

Then after a big salad for an early dinner, I took Maggie on the Seven Bridges Marathon hike.  I actually was feeling pretty good and the 2½ miles were quick and easy to cover.  I swear by fresh air and exercise to help you feel better. 








The first photo of a giant rock as part of the path, shows why the Plateau is called Rocky Top.

Joe and I started the mini series 'The Perfect Couple.'

Sunday 9/8 - I woke up feeling a tad bit better but still not well enough to go to church.  I didn’t want to expose anyone to my germs anyway.  I had a little better luck getting the steroid down Stevie.  It was really cold out, low 50s so Stevie was following the sun spots to nap in.  I was freezing cold, so sat outside, reading my James Patterson book.  In the throes of the action, I was turning pages and not worrying about time.  I did end up getting a bit too warm, but thought baking out this cold might be the solution.







I had a late lunch and then took a Covid test that Patty had.  Thankfully it was negative.
Maggie and I went out front and I started raking up all the leaves that had already fallen.  My project supervisor was sleeping on the job.  She sure enjoys being out in the sun.
 

Our driveway was really covered in leaves.  I hauled away five king-size sheets full.  Actually, they weren't big loads, because I didn't want to strain my gut.

It was the perfect temperature for outdoor work.  And with no breeze, wrangling leaves was easy.  I even raked some off the grass.



Next I worked at weeding and finally putting mulch down on the beds along our front entrance sidewalk. 



I have had six bags of mulch sitting outside, at the corner of our garage, since the middle of April.  I am not sure why it has taken me so long to get to this job.  As I recall, it was too rainy, and then it was too hot, and I was also dealing with health issues. 






It felt good to finally get this bed completed, and it looks so much better. 

I thought about taking a walk after dinner but had lots of chores to do because it was Sunday night.  Plus, I was feeling pretty tired.

Monday 9/9 - These are the only two photos I took all day.  My fur babies following the sunbeams inside.  Fall and cooler temperatures are in the air.

I had morning chores at the Ranch, doing all the mucking and giving Amiga a Previcox before putting the horses out in the pasture.  Then I headed for town.  I had a blood draw at Dr. Davidson‘s office to check my iron.  It and everything else was in the normal range so I’m glad to announce that I am now normal.  LOL  Everything is under control.
 

Mama Styx moving into a warm spot.

While in town, I went to Tractor Supply, getting help loading the horse feed bag into my car.  I ran into Patty at Lowe’s and then we both ran into each other again at Walmart.

It was close to 1:30 by the time I got home.  I got everything unloaded, had a big salad for a very late lunch, and then needed a nap, which I took on the screened porch with Stevie.

Joe and I watched two more episodes of 'The Perfect Couple.'  I enjoy murder mysteries.

Tuesday 9/10 - Today marked six weeks since surgery.  I'm allowed to resume full activity.  However, I am not in the shape I was in six weeks ago... to lift 50 pound feed bags, sling a heavy saddle, push/pull heavy objects, etc.  So I am working on getting back into shape.  Externally, my incision is all healed, but I sometimes feel pinching/tugging sensations internally.  It is probably scar tissue being stretched or squished as I bend and twist.

Notice the fawn is losing its spots and the doe is getting her darker winter coat. 

I spent the morning catching up on my blog, doing a little horse shopping, sending emails and organizing my medical file.

Scotty came and installed new lights in our kitchen, laundry room, and guest bathroom.  We are removing the old fluorescent fixtures and putting in LED lights.  One of the light switches was also bad so he replaced that. 


Today's big 'event' was going to be catching Wanda and getting her to the vet.  I left for the ranch before Scotty got finished, so I could meet Patty to help me with barn cat wrangling.  Wanda came right into the tack room to eat.  After she was finished with her canned cat food I easily caught her, but when I tried to put her in the crate, the struggle began.  Patty, who had been mowing, arrived to help me with my efforts. 


 


It was 90 minutes before I needed to take Wanda, so I went up to the ranch house to water the plantings.  It is still so dry out, and hot during the day.  Up at the coop, the 'girls' were all sun bathing, but two stood up before I could get their picture. 

While the soaker hose was running, I pulled weeds and then did a little more trimming along our drive entrance to neaten it up a tad more.

When it was 'go time,' I grabbed the crate Wanda was in (from the cool, dark tack room) and headed to the vet (video).  She was pretty noisy at the start but slowly settled down, until I parked the car at the vets.  Then she got loud again.  The vet clinic has you park and give them your name, appointment time and parking space number, and when they’re ready for you, they come and bring you into an exam room.  That way you don’t have a bunch of animals in the small waiting room at the front desk.  It is a good method.  We were way early so I chose to sit and wait under a shade tree until they came out to get us.

Wanda (the Wondercat) did great at the vets.  She was actually under control, held very still, choosing not to fight or escape, and basically just kind of 'shut down' for the whole procedure.  She was quite glad to get 'home' to her barn, when I took her back to the ranch.  Bonnie was there and gave her the rest of the canned cat food. 

I continued with watering, spotting this cool spider web in the process.  I needed to get home for feeding time so quit, again before finishing.  






After dinner, I picked up sticks in the yard, and it was actually pretty dark by the time I finished.  Apparently, I hadn't latched the laundry room door to the garage (which I really thought I had done because it is a constant problem popping open otherwise).  Rose had come down near the creek, where I was crossing with the branches to put in the woods.  When I had finished and was on the way back to the house, Rose was running ahead of me, but stopped suddenly and started acting worried.  Well, there was a cat near the deck.  So I made a noise to scare it off, and it ran into our garage.  It was Mama Styx returning home.


When I went inside and did a head count of cats, I was missing Monita.  So I got the treat jar and went room to room shaking it, which she always comes running for.  Nope.  So out I went, with the treat jar, shaking it and calling for Monita.  No luck after 30 minutes of searching.  I figured she was probably hiding under a bush or something because she is usually a big chicken.  I finally gave up, feeling frustrated and devastated.  Well, while putting on my PJ's, Monita came out from under the bed, looking frightened.  These photos were not her under the bed but of another hiding spot she goes to.  Anyway, I'm guessing she had gone outside and was scared by Rose, and ran into the house and into hiding.  Ugh, but at least I felt the cat situation was now under control and knew I would now be able to sleep.

Wednesday 9/11 - It’s not just the tragedy of September 11, 2001 that we must remember, but the feeling of unity that we experienced on September 12, 2001.

I woke with much pain in my left sinus cavity and lots of nasty drainage that was actually streaked with some blood.  Ugh. 

 
One can never fully get a cat under control.  They just do what they want, when and where they want.  Monita is one of the most uncontrollable cats when she wants attention.  She is persistent, annoying, assertive, and exasperating.  She will knock things off my desk, bite me, walk on my keyboard, grab my pen, paper, computer screen, book or what ever I am holding (even bopping another cat on the head, that is in my lap) etc.  But I love her. 

I had a ton to do here at my desk, but when I checked the weather, decided to go to the pool for what looked to be the last nice day until it closes Saturday.  I was there from 11:30 - 3:30, and I have become quite good at being a pool bum.  Patty and I talked while walking laps together, but then I indulged in a beer and flatbread (pizza) from the club house.  I also took a little nap. 

I went straight to the ranch from the pool to do evening (feeding) chores.  I was so glad that Wanda did not hold a grudge (after the vet) and trusted me enough to let me pet her and give her some lovin'. 


Okay, as I type this, I can't get Blogger under control.  It won't let me move the chicken photo up after 'nap' and it automatically is indenting this paragraph.  I have 'fought' with it too long and am moving on, not worrying about how it looks. 

When I got up to the ranch house, I finished watering, took a (video) of Gloria, and shut the outer door of the coop before heading home.

Joe and I watched the debate together... don't believe it was very 'under control' either.
 

Thursday 9/12 - My cold was noticeably better but I was still a long ways from feeling good.  I planned to spend the morning at my computer doing this blog, organizing photos, responding to emails, sending text messages, horse shopping, and doing some ranch boarding plans and management. 



I always enjoy having Rose join us on our walks.



Joe finally pulled me away from my desk, wanting to go to town to pick out a few more lights and hike another marathon trail.  The rain that was supposed to come at noon had been knocked back till later in the day, so I figured it was a good idea to get out and do some of that outside stuff.

After lunch, I decided I had time to plant the mums into the new pot, all of which I had bought at Lowe’s a few days earlier.  The old, cheap Family Dollar plastic pot was breaking into little pieces and I was ready to do away with it's mostly dead plants.

Much better!

I was intending to go to the gym (it had been a week since I was last there), but my cold was still bad enough that I didn’t want to share it with anybody.  And I didn’t know if I’d start coughing or get the dizzy headaches I get when I bend over because of my sinuses. 





So, I decided to sit here on the porch swing with Stevie, sip my hot tea, read my book, and take a nap.  It was a good rainy afternoon activity, although it never did rained.  But there were dark clouds, it got very windy and cooled off a lot.

Instead of accomplishing anything productive after dinner, I continued reading because my book was nearing its end and getting even more exciting. 

Friday 9/13 - I am not superstitious, but I do believe in good and evil spirits, and pray for protection.  I woke up feeling even better than the day before, barely a cough, no headache and not much of a sore throat, but still some drainage.

I sat here too long, getting nothing done.  My indecision and uncertainty with certain things caused me to mull over several things including boarding plans at the ranch, horse shopping, filling out genetic family tree on computer, vetting my cats, and whether to go to the gym.  A little apathetic torpor and just not feeling 100%, also caused me to sit idly. 




There was a little bit of housecleaning, quite a bit of snacking, some playtime with the cats and several conversations on the phone.

I had a meeting with Brooke about boarding options, now that we are taking on a new boarder.  But I went early to care for Amiga, who had come in with a sore eye on Wednesday evening.  I did a warm compress and cleaned it, followed by a cold compress.  Susan took some photos of me and my horse, the only ones taken on my phone all day.

We still hadn't gotten any rain, other than a few drops here and there.  Oh if only we could control the weather. 




Once home, I decided to quickly move some sand down at the creek to get the water to flow on our side of the creek and into the pond versus the opposite side.  That way it will look more like waterfront from our yard, at least that was my thought, to 'control' the creek.

It’s sprinkled for about three minutes and that was the end of the rainfall for today.

It was a quiet evening with Joe in Nashville for the weekend.

Ready or Not

I am ready.  I am so ready, but maybe I better not.  I have felt ready to start lifting heavier objects (and weights at the gym) and ride a horse.  My incision seems all healed, but the deeper surgical site can not be seen.  Lifting too early could disrupt the underlying fascia that's trying to reconnect.  So I knew I needed to progress slowly, gradually lifting heavier items if it didn't cause discomfort around my incision.
I also wondered, when it comes to buying a new horse, am I ready?

Hugh Laurie has a good point with this quote:  “It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually, no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.”  

Saturday 8/31 - After getting last weeks blog posted, I scampered off to the ranch to do chores.  By the time I got done mucking and up to the chicken coop, these three were out on the side pasture. 









Once home, I had my second breakfast and then Joe and I headed into town to go to the Playhouse and see a very well done production of Grease.

After that we went to the airport hiking trail, where we did our first leg of the hiking marathon that lasts the whole month of September.  We were one day early getting started, but it was very convenient for us to go because it was so close to the Playhouse. 

I did both loops which were part of the marathon covering 4.8 miles and Joe did just one loop.


Next, we went to Lowe’s to pick out some lights to replace our outdated fluorescent light fixtures, which no longer have ballast to keep them running.  We found something we could both settle on. 





We got hit with a downpour as we were coming out of the store and it continued to rain hard all the way home.  By the time I was in the house, I was feeling rather cold because it had really cooled off and the rain and sweat had my clothing damp.  I made a cup of tea, changed clothes, read on the porch with Stevie, and puttered around the remainder of the day and evening.
 

Sunday 9/1 - And just like that, September is here and summer is over and we were experiencing an early fall.

Courtney was coming, so I ran to the store to get some food.  Then I scrambled to clean house a little bit.  In addition to helping Joe vacuum everything, including the furniture, in our continued effort of flea eradication, I also did a deep cleaning of the guest bathroom. 



I went to the ranch where Courtney met me.  We brought the horses into the barn and groomed them well and did some healthcare on their hooves.  It was plenty warm, so Wanda was staying cool, sleeping on the rocks.  Cats have a way of making every nap spot look comfortable. 

We decided it was too hot to take the horses for a walk.  Joe was busy farting around with horse trailer and then tractor.  He was moving manure when we left for the pool. 

It started raining on our way to the pool, and looked like it was gonna keep it up the rest of the day, which it did.  So we just came home and had a late lunch (Courtney's salad masterpiece).

We spent the afternoon lounging, working a puzzle, and watching a movie. 


 


Patty joined us after a very wet time at doing evening chores.  We had a video chat with Britney and her boyfriend Juanca.  Dinner was Chicken Alfredo, which was actually a Banquet frozen dinner.

The much needed rain had cooled things off and replenished some moisture.  But the long drought has left the trees so stressed, they are dropping their leaves and it looks like fall. 




Patty headed home after dinner, Joe went to play poker and Courtney and I finished our movie. 

I went out to walk the dog when Courtney left at 8:30.  Rose joined us and was leading the way in this photo, taking us to her empty food dish.  Notice all the leaves on the ground. 

Monday 9/2 -  Happy Labor Day.

I did chores at the ranch, getting four partial wheelbarrow loads of manure since I couldn’t do full loads because of my weight restriction still. 

I had brought Amiga into the barn to give her a Previcox, and when I turned her out at the corral gate, she went and got a good scratching on the tree.  Then she trotted off to catch up with the boys. 

I met Joe at the Overlook Trail and we hiked it together, going 2.3 miles. 







From this switch-back, you can see where the trail runs along Daddy's Creek, which had a nice amount of water in it after all the rain the last two days. 




The woods smelled good and the sounds of the water running and the birds singing was 'grounding' (video). 








The Overlook Trail is very picturesque with the plants, creek, and rock formations. 

I can never remember the name of the tree that has these big leaves (which Joe is holding) that are white on the underside. 



Looking up at Joe as we ascended back up the hill to where the trail head was. 




And Joe looking down on me from where he was on the bridge.  Notice Daddy's Creek in the background. 



Once home, I had a big early lunch and laid out in the sun, but it proved to be a little too hot so that didn’t last long.  





After a shower and a nap and a little bit of horse shopping on the computer, I got ready to go to Mirror Lake Blast. 

I had a blast at the concert.  Joe stayed until intermission.  Micki, Donna, DJ and I stayed till the bitter end.  I danced my heart out and thoroughly enjoyed myself.  I'd much rather dance with great effort, energy and enthusiasm, than go to the gym.  Although I miss doing weights to work specific muscles.
 

Tuesday 9/3 - Monita finally napping behind my computer as I worked here.  Quite often she bothers me for love and attention. 

I made a quick trip to the ranch at 8am, to give Amiga a Previcox so she wouldn't be too sore for the farrier Wednesday. 










We have decided to keep horses off the side pasture because the grass is pretty short and we want to let it grow before Dorado arrives early October.

I stopped by the FFG Maintenance area on my way home, to pick up some good dirt I needed for a few flower beds. 

I made my first visit back to the gym and did (for two hours) a very restricted weight workout.  I went very light and easy on specific back and ab. exercises.  Actually, all weight lifting requires core strength when done properly, so I was careful with every exercise.  



I had an appointment at the vet for Stevie at 3:20 and got there a little early.  I had been feeling pretty good about her progress, until a few days ago when she started backsliding. 


I had told the vet tech I was unable (not willing) to pay for expensive diagnostics or treatment but wanted to see if there was something 'simple' (easy and inexpensive) we could treat. 

Stevie howled while the tech was taking her temperature and then squirted the coffee looking liquid diarrhea, when he removed the thermometer.  Later when they were drawing blood, she peed all over the towel she was wrapped in.  In this photo, she is trying to get back into her crate while we were waiting for the result of the fecal sample.

Well, we ruled out intestinal parasites, and are waiting on the blood draw to see if it is thyroid or kidneys.  And we may need to try steroids to see if it is inflammatory bowel disease.

It was almost 5:00 by the time Stevie and I got home.  We were both glad to be done with that outing.  And poor Stevie threw-up after eating her dinner.  I think she was still too traumatized.  

Susan sent these photos of the prehistoric looking, reptilian visitor they had at the ranch this morning.  She said the horses were curious and a little scared of it. 

  





Poker Joe was gone and I decided to sit and read on the porch with Stevie, to love on her after putting her through the trauma of a vet visit.
I went to bed early, with my sore throat feeling worse.
 

Wednesday 9/4 - My sore throat was really bad, and I also had a major headache when I got up.  My muscles were a bit sore from yesterday's gym workout, but that was a good feeling, to have re-awakened them. 
The view from my desk.







Rose was camped out by a chipmunk hole.  She sat there for a long time, patiently waiting. 





I was at the ranch before 8:30, gave Amiga a Previcox, and then waited our turn for the farrier.  Cowboy and then Zorro went, and then it was Amiga's turn.

Patty had morning chores, so helped with wrangling Zorro for the farrier.  Here she is leading Amiga (left) and Zorro (right) out to the paddock. 

These two Pasos have such nice ground manners, unless they get revved up for some reason, like when a horse fly is trying to land on them.

I dumped the buckets of dirt I had brought, around the azaleas near the ranch house, and gave them a good watering.  Then I headed to the pool for a few hours.

I came home for a late lunch and a bit of horse shopping here at my computer.  I am really drawn to the chocolate, with flaxen mane, Rocky Mountain horse. I like the breed and love the color.  I called about this eight year old gelding, but he was way over my budget.

Then I heard about the shootings at Apalachee HS in Georgia.  Horrific, senseless, and tragic. 

We train for disasters or emergencies, but never really know if we are ready for one, and hope not to be tested on our readiness.  Kudos to EMTs, police, teachers, etc.

I do not understand why people would design a video game like this or why it would be allowed on the internet?  What are people thinking???

I fed critters here at home early and was out at the ranch at 5:00 to feed our 'big critters.' 

I killed three horseflies that were on Zorro, while staying out of the way of his swinging rear end because he is trying to get you to help him. 

I noticed just one of the three black horses in the field along our driveway.

One look at the burrs in his mane and the flies on his eyes and I felt bad for him. 








But I also realized how lucky our 'pampered' horses are.

This will not be an easy task getting these out of his mane, if ever his owner tries to clean him up. 





I fed the chickens on my way out and was home by 6:45.  I had a small salad and then snacked on junk food.  I don't like it when I get in one of these modes. 

I went to bed early cause I just wasn't feeling very good.  Joe has a fall cold which he probably shared with me, that or my allergies are out of control.

Thursday 9/5 - My throat was no better when I got up.  Rose  leading the way to her food dish first thing in the morning. 

I feel like horse shopping has been a bit of a wild goose chase.  I can't seem to find exactly what I am looking for.  There are a lot less geldings for sale, the prices are over budget, or the horse is too far away to make it feasible to go look at. 








My surprise lilies all popped up after the weekend of rain and I finally got photos of them. 






On my way to the ranch, I knew enough to stay a good distance behind a big dump truck hauling stuff from a cleared lot.  There was a lot of debris along the road, evidence that branches fly out of the back of these trucks.  Also, I was thinking it’s a good thing I don’t drive with my tire on the yellow line. Otherwise there would be a lot of sideswipes as I travel down Westchester and Chestnut Hill, because so many others are on or even over the yellow line, on my side of the road.  It would help if these roads were wider and had shoulders, but they don't

I helped Joe re-attached the upper corral fence in preparation for overnighters and then gave Amiga a Previcox.  The pool was my next stop, since it closes in nine days, and I want to enjoy it while it (and summer) lasts.  I was a 'pool bum' for three hours, thoroughly enjoying relaxing in the sun and water and chatting with all the regulars.  This photo is here because I didn't take any others all day.

I went to the gym from 4-6:00, ate and fed my fur babies, and then took Maggie on a long walk, getting home after dark, which is occurring earlier and earlier these days.

Friday 9/6 - If anything, my sore throat and headache were worse.  I tried the nasal rinse and then steroid nasal mist.  After a bit, I felt it had helped some.

Joe and I hiked the 2 mile Thornhill Trail.  The trail head is at the Dorchester parking lot, so we parked at the pool and went straight there when done.  Joe had to leave to move a car, but I lounged at the pool until 2:30.  Pool time included a good arm workout as well. 




Later I discovered that I had wore my big toe raw walking so many laps in the pool while I was doing the arm barbells.  Ouch.  Also, my arms had gotten a bit sore.

I came home to shower and feed the masses early before we went out to dinner.  At the pool I had started feeling bad again, and was hoping to 'bake' the cold out of my body.  My postnasal drip and sinus headache had now moved to my chest and I was coughing a lot. 

Joe ran to the ranch to check on the tree trimmer and move all these branches onto the big burn pile we have at the barn. 

Soon we were off to Fortes to meet his poker buddies Frank and Farrel, and their wives Debra and Janet.  It was a lovely night but would have been much nicer if I had been feeling better.  The food and drinks were fantastic.

Ready or not, we are getting into cold and flu season.  I'll be getting my vaccines soon.