Never Look Down

When we are going through struggles, it is important to not look down on life, but to look up to God for his strength. 
Never look down and become submerged in negative thoughts.  Look up at all the good and blessings, paying attention to the beauty (of nature and people) that surround you. 



I love this cowgirl quote.  And this photo taken at the Blue Jean Ball in 2021 of our (us cowgirl's) boots.

If we spend time doing the things we love, with the people we adore, we don't have time to look (or get) down.  And then when we sit alone, resting or awake in bed, we have wonderful memories and thoughts to sift through, instead of harping on or worrying about negative things. 
 
Gratitude helps us shift our focus from the bad things in our lives to the things that are still going well.  It protects us from the damaging effects of anxiety and stress, and has been shown to improve our mental health over time.

When life gets tough, what comes out? Joy, gratitude, peace and humility?  Or anger, bitterness, victim mentality and quitting-tendencies?  Never look down or give up.

Saturday 6/29 - Well, sometimes I do look down, when gazing out my desk window and into the woods below.  But I see the wonder of nature when I do.  There was a doe and three fawns, and I pondered if they were triplets. 

But a little later another doe showed up, and all five proceeded to drink, romp and play in the creek. 

Joe went out early to the ranch to throw hay to the horses and do some mucking, so I didn't need to rush out there first thing.  He now also has the shop completely clear and ready for this year's hay, we just need to get it cut and baled.  

Joe hadn't fed Wanda (not one of his jobs) so when I arrived at 9:15, she was waiting and ready for breakfast.  I muzzled our horses and fly-masked them all and turned them out on pasture.  Then I finished mucking and a few other little things until Courtney arrived. 

We collected our horses and got them ready to ride.  Courtney had Zorro tacked and ready to hit the trail. 





Zorro was looking a little bored with the photo session, until Courtney started scratching his ear. 

Then he leaned into her and just kind of melted. 





I tried to get a selfie once we were out on our ride, and I was leading the way on Amiga.  The photo did not come out well, but you can see how pretty the sky was. 

Zorro took the lead lots of the time and Amiga just loves tailgaiting her brother.  Luckily he doesn't mind.  She doesn't usually do this to other horses when out on the trail.  And Amiga does best when it is just her and I together.

When riding, it is important to not look down on the ground, but to keep your eyes up and out on what is in front of you and where you are going.  Not a bad plan for navigating through the tough trials of life.  





While riding down Marmaduke, we were accosted by eight inquisitive puppies at the log cabin house.  They were not aggressive, but definitely very curious.  I tried to get a (video).




Back at the barn, Wanda waiting for more food, as usual.  She is such a mooch. 

We changed into swim suits and then hit Dorchester Club House for a late lunch and took it down to the pool to eat and then sun and swim.  Joe and Patty joined us a little later. 




We were home by 5:30 and at Stonehenge grill a little over an hour later.  They have flowers planted in the pattern of the Tennessee flag. 

The four of us enjoyed our meals.  Once home, Courtney, Joe and I watched TV until my 9pm bed time and Courtney needed to hit the road, home to Nashville.

What a blessing to be able to ride, swim, hang out and dine together with my loving family.

Sunday 6/30 -  Shirley was unable to make it to church, so I hung out here at home and got this blog post started. 

Most of my day (nearly seven hours) was spent working at the pool because we had a big Pool Party.  Brian Mosley (seen above) was a nice 'one man band' who entertained the crowed for over two hours.


A group of six sisters came in (well one was actually a sister in law) and were having a great time. 

I borrowed Elli's shirt to pose with one of the gals in her shirt.  I love our happy resort guests who often seem to be celebrating something.  One of the sister's was turning fifty.  








The regulars always have a pot-luck on party days, and today there was a big spread as usual. 





There had been a good chance of rain so it wasn't a huge crowd. 







But the rain never came to fruition so it ended up being a great party.  




Everybody loved the band. 









And all enjoyed the food and relaxing in the water (which was the perfect temperature).

I kept busy with 'clean up' (food spills, wet bathroom floors, trash collecting etc.) and continued having fun with the guests and regulars.







And I never once thought about my cancer diagnosis. 






I must admit though, I was pretty tired by the time I got home a little after 6:30. 

I had done many of my weekly chores before going to work, so only needed to do my regular evening routine of feeding the pets, walking Maggie, and showering.

Monday 7/1 - And just like that, June is over and we head into July. 

I had fallen asleep last night as soon as my head hit the pillow at 8:45, but when I woke at 2am, there was no returning to slumber.  I rolled out of the sack before 3am and started computerizing and writing yesterday's blog entry. 

I was at the ranch by 6:30am, threw hay to the horses, fed Wanda, and went up to the house to read and nap.  Awake after 90 minutes of more sleep, I found the trash dumped over down at the barn.  Wanda's food container had been drug into the yard and chewed into, with all the kibble eaten.  This happened between 6:30 and 9am. 


I spent much of the day at the ranch doing my mucking chores, pulling weeds, and weed whacking, and clearing overgrowth that occurred on our trail in the back. 





Wanda was hanging out in the woods near the manure pile, which I made several trips to and from.  She was hunting and then napping. 






At the edge of the pond I could see pan-fish of some sort, probably bluegill, at their nest which they were guarding.  When I got close enough to get a good photo, I scared most of them away.

While in the shop, I noticed Zorro at the pond getting a drink.

I said hello to him, and he popped his he up, startled and wondering where I was at because I wasn't in his line of vision.  All the horses had come into the shed, so it was a good time to collect Amiga.

She never cooperates for photographs and I can't hold my arm far enough away to get a good selfie.  But I tried. 

I got Amiga ready to ride and headed out on our trail.  It was a beautiful day for a ride.  I accidentally shut off this (video) before I was done talking.  It didn't record that I had said that I got lots of help (from Joe, Patty, and Karen) on this trail I had made.  From this spot on the trail, you can see how desperately we need to get our hay harvested. 






I had fun on our short little ride.  Being able to take Amiga out on the trail gives me such pleasure and helps me find my zen (thoughts, meditation, and time with God).  All my worries fad away on the back of my horse.  My outlook on life always improves through the ears of Amiga.  This is my  happy place.

I didn’t get home from the ranch until 2:30 so there was not time to get to the gym.  I needed to shower cause I had gotten into some poison ivy, and then I took a little time to relax before heading to Mirror Lake Blast.  I always sit front and center on the hillside.  







It was a great concert by Second Wind Knox. The band was fantastic, the horn section was on fire and a good time was had by all.  These next three photos were shared on Facebook by Vernon Martin.

These are views of both sides of the hill.  










Look at the size of the crowd!

This last photo I got off a video Brian sent me.  I was enjoying myself along with the other hundred dancers. 

The busier I stay, the better I feel and the happier I am, not having time to think about future medical procedures I will have to go through.  I am having too much fun to look down on life.

Tuesday 7/2 - Babe on the porch.  We had had the air off and windows open during the cool spell for two days, but I shut them all this morning with more heat expected.  Last night I slept like a baby... no wait, babies don’t sleep so well usually.  I actually slept more like a cat. 







I worked five hours at the pool, had a two hour workout at the gym, and went straight to Druid Hills to hit golf balls with the girls (Micki, Sherri, myself, Randi, and Linda). 









I was there for an hour, having a great time, and actually getting in a little golf practice.  We were 'teaching' Sherri how to golf. 


A swing...


...and a hit.



Look how far Sherri hit the ball.  Ha, ha, ha.







Actually, Sherri is very athletic (like all these ladies) and ended up doing quite well.  I had a lot of mediocre shots along with a few really good ones and just as many really bad ones.  Good time, beautiful weather, and so much fun. 

Wednesday 7/3 - I had taken a pain sleep aid (having wore myself out yesterday) and actually didn't wake until just before 7am, after sleeping over ten hours.  Wow did I need that.  I got up feeling well rested.

Susan sent this photo of Zorro and Amiga that she had taken yesterday after feeding time.  They were enjoying their hay.

I had gotten a late start on the day, and had planned to take care of medical stuff, so spent all morning and half the afternoon working here at my desk. 

Marie had brought me fresh lavender (for calming and medicinal purposes) that she had cut from her bush.  Well I decided to dry it and hang it on our headboard.

I filled out a packet of papers (Dr. Davidson) the oncologist office had sent.  Joe helped me finally access my patient portal and I found an addendum path report of the MSI analysis of the mass, done at Mayo Labs in MN.  My interpretation is that I'm probably a candidate for immunotherapy before surgery and it was suggested I consider genetic consultation.  Well this lead to more questions and more research. 

I finally shut down my computer and got up and away from my desk.  I had chores at the ranch, which I did a tad early.

These photos were taken from this (video) I took of the horses coming in for dinner time.  Zorro looks good racking in.  Amiga, not so much, still sore.

Notice in the video the gate to the front pasture is open.  They come through that during the day, to get water and hang out in the shed to cool off.  Well, I forgot to close it, so Amiga (without her grazing muzzle on) and the other three got to eat grass all night long.  Shoot!
I had been in a hurry to get going to town, but that is no excuse.  UGH!  I did my much needed shopping at Tractor Supply and Walmart.

I didn't get home until after 7pm, so  had to scramble to feed all of us, unload and store supplies, and do the usual evening cleaning chores.  Maggie did not want to go for a walk because some early fire works could be heard from not too far away.  I insisted she at least pee.
Stevie continues to decline, causing me much angst.  Her diarrhea is worse, she continues to lose weight, and she doesn't want to be held, yet seeks to be near me.  Like many nights, I fell asleep worried more about her (and Amiga) than I was myself.
 

Thursday 7/4 - Happy July 4th!
This photo was taken by our son Daniel in Afghanistan in 2011.  Freedom isn't free.  Remember that America is home of the free because of the brave. 

When I arrived at the pool at 9am, for what turned out to be a very busy shift, I loved seeing all the flags waving in the wind.




We'd had over 100 customers by the time I got off work at 2:00, and most days we don't even get that many all day long.  But I love being busy because the time flies.  And it is such a joy to see people having fun. 






A shower, nap, and a little reading occurred once I got home.  Joe grilled pork chops and corn on the cob, and I probably ate too much. 





Then I was off to an evening of celebrating and fun.

I met Micki on the dam to our pond (Turtle pond at #17 of Druid).  Look how low the water is, when usually it is running over the spill-way.  I hate seeing it so dried up.  We desperately need rain. 







We walked over a mile to get to Robin Hood Park for the party and festivities.  This is what the new Bocci Ball courts look like at the moment. 




We were quick to join in on the festivities. 








We enjoyed singing, dancing, walking around and chatting with so many fun people. 




It was a beautiful night, although a bit hot and humid. 












And what a gorgeous sunset we were all able to enjoy. 
 

Lots of kids (young and old) had all sorts of light-up toys and accessories.  And many boats starting to congregate on the lake were also 'decked out' in lights. 








We all waited for the sun to go down and the real show to begin. 





And what a show it was.  Nobody was looking down.
Here are (videos) I took throughout the evening.

And these last three photos were taken by Judy Lynn. 

ooohh, awhhh





Micki and I were on the dock out over the water.  Judy was in the crowd up on the hill to the left of us.  In addition to a lot of loud noise, there was a great deal of smoke and ash fall-out.  That's how close we were. 

The fire department had hosed down all the area where the fireworks might hit, and they were set off over the lake, which helped prevent a fire from starting. 











But one firework did miss-fire and there was a small fire (I think the wood stand it was mounted on might have been what caught fire).  The fire fighters were right there and pretty quick to put it out.

Micki and I enjoyed our mile long walk home, talking about life and our passions as we went.  It was after 11:00 by the time I laid my head on my pillow.

Friday 7/5 - Joe and I 'celebrated' our 44th anniversary.  I remember my wedding day very well.  Not only was it a lovely ceremony in the church, and a fun reception (with lots of dancing) that followed, the day of our wedding was the famous (almost four hour) tennis match between Borg and McEnroe.  In fact, we were almost late for church while watching the end of the showdown.

I was hoping Dr. Davidson would have a cancellation (and I could get in to see him today), and finally called his office at 9am to check.  But I was told there would have been one by now, so I would have to wait till Monday for my scheduled appointment.  What's three more days when I have known I needed surgery since June 12th, and that it is cancer since June 25th? 

Stevie pinning my mouse hand while seeking love and comfort. 









This morning one of the fawns noticed a squirrel, and was so cute trying to get a closer look. 





The squirrel was hopping around from tree to ground to another tree.  










Even after the fawn's mom and sibling moved on, it kept trying to get a better look at the squirrel. 




I took several photos, but only in this one can you see the fawn and squirrel.

The morning flew by while I spent too much time here researching, this time soft tissue navicular syndrome in horses.  Horse chiropractor Katy thinks it's Amiga's problem which seems to explain why her navicular didn't show any changes on her x-ray. 

I finally made it to the gym and was having a good workout, until two things pissed me off. 

I ended up leaving the gym early, not even finishing my workout on the elliptical or doing my stretch/balance work at the end, because I had gotten frustrated.  This is not like me.  My annoyance was two fold.  HGTV (and the other two shows I flipped back-and-forth from) did not have audio, yet most stations did, so I had noting to watch while on the elliptical.  The other thing I had been extremely perturbed about, was a man and the spray cleaner.  He always sprays down everything (in excess) and doesn't wipe the spray off (very well or at all).  The bottle says not to inhale, get on clothing, or let it contact your skin.  I'd rather contend with a few germs than this nasty chemical.  Anyway, I had gotten my hands wet from his leftover spray a few times and then at one point, at the 'spray station' when he was soaking a paper towel (just after I finished there and turned to go) he was behind me and got spray on the back of my arm and leg, I guess missing the towel he was spraying.  UGG! 

Anyway, I shouldn't have gotten so frustrated about both these 'problems', but I did, so I just left.  Maybe it's just a combination of all my worries that caused me to go kaput (and look down).




After dinner and feeding the critters, I took Maggie on a long (45 minute) walk, wearing my weighted vest.  I wanted to somewhat redeem myself for not finishing my aerobic workout.  In these photos, I was checking out the section of trail that had been closed for tree removal.  Well, I hope they plan to finish cleaning up the mess they left.





Joe had taped the Biden interview and we watched that before I turned in for the night.  I was trying hard not to look down on life when there seems to be so much wrong in this world, country, and my little human existence. 

I had so many prayer requests and worries to off-loaded on God, I fell asleep before I got done. 

Don't Borrow Trouble

Joe's Dad (Herman) used to say "Don't borrow trouble."
The past few weeks I have found myself repeating this old saying as I try not to dwell on possible health issues.  Don’t borrow trouble is an idiom that means don’t worry about anything needlessly before it is time to worry about it, or before one has sufficient cause for the worry.  It is an abbreviation of a longer phrase, 'Don’t borrow tomorrow’s troubles.'  The idea is that worrying does not solve anything, and we often worry about things that never happen, so it wastes time and energy and distracts us from things that should command our attention today.

When we worry about tomorrow, we can never really appreciate the fullness of the day, because our minds are preoccupied.  Matthew 6:34 says:  “Therefore never worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  God wants us to be present in the here and now, knowing that He will take care of our future.  It is important that we trust God every day, for each day He gives us new mercies.
'Don’t borrow trouble' admonishes us to not borrow trouble from tomorrow to deal with today.  After all, tomorrow’s trouble may never come.  Grammarist
The reason for my worries was two fold.  My June 12 colonoscopy revealed a mass growing inside, where my small intestines joins my large intestines.  It is rather large, causing partial obstruction, and must be removed before it might totally block the passageway. 

I was told I had to have surgery (sooner than later) to remove a whole section of my colon that contains the mass.  A biopsy was taken of the growth and the results of that will determine how much of my colon needs to be removed and what follow up treatment will take place.  I was told to wait seven business days for the results.  Well, by Friday morning last week, after calling the afternoon before, and again that morning, I spoke with my doctor's nurse.  I was told she couldn't give me the results over the phone.  Dr Collins wants me to go in to discuss the game plan.  So I have an appointment with her Tuesday afternoon.

And if surgery (and the possibility of cancer) wasn't worrisome enough, now that I know what is inside me, I have become ultra aware of any intestinal problems, pains, gas, bloating, etc. that have been occurring.  Before, I ignored a lot of my gut issues, but now it seems my gut pain has increased and become more persistent.  I feel like the colonoscopy prep set it off and wonder if the biopsy aggravated the mass, that or is it because of the angst I have been feeling?  Hopefully the partial blockage isn't getting worse, which ultimately could lead to emergency surgery. 







I struggled with who and how much I should tell people while waiting on and then once I got the results.

I know a lot of people want and like to keep their health issues private, and I respect that.  No one wants to hear another's woes.  However, I am a firm believer in prayer.  I have seen it work miracles, including, but not limited to the healing process.  So I planned to tell family and friends my health issue once I knew more details.  I appreciate all prayers and positive thoughts.  In an on-line article, Dr. McClain says another reason to tell loved ones is that “Some people will feel unappreciated if you don't tell them, and you're limiting the support you'll get during an important emotional time.”  Knowing about a loved one's condition, and helping, may make others feel better, too. “Your family (and friends) benefits by being able to help you,” he says.

I struggled with the balance between unnecessary worry vs preparing for bad news.  Reading on-line, I got some ideas on ways to reduce anxiety while waiting for test results:
Don’t assume the worst.  I have tried.
Limit how much you look up online.  I did.
Keep busy - I continue to do that!
Write what you feel - That's why I blog.
Focus on your inner strength, so even if a fear does come true, you will be able to handle it.
Linked-in advises: think of the worst case scenarios that could disrupt various aspects of your life and ask yourself how prepared are you to face them?  If you are not well prepared, are there any steps, conversations, or decisions you need to make to be more empowered should they occur?
 

Saturday 6/22 - After feeding the horses hay at 8am, I collected Amiga, let the boys out on the pasture and then went for a little ride (video).

Once back, I did the mucking and a few other little jobs. 









I feel bad that our two Pasos still have to wear grazing muzzles, especially in this heat. 






Amiga and Zorro actually hung out in the shed for awhile before joining Banner and Cowboy out in the pasture.  I don't think they realized the gate was open. 





Up at the house, I worked at doing more cleanup from the party, took care of the chickens, and then, because the hammock looked so inviting, I laid down on it.  Over an hour later I woke from a nap.  I was slow to get moving and decided I was out of time to go to the gym which closes at 4 PM on Sat.  So I headed back down to the barnyard area and did weed whacking, tree trimming, weed pulling, and moved some hay.

By the time I got home, there wasn’t much left of my afternoon.  When Joe got home from a pro golf tournament he was watching in Nashville, we watched the last two episodes of the last season of Suits.  I will miss it as entertainment.

Sunday 6/23 - The only photos I took today were these of my late afternoon deer family visitors. 











I met Shirley at church and she shared some quotes she has saved.  This one fits with this week's theme: 'Don’t let the future destroy the present.'  I got a little teary-eyed a couple times while talking, and then when singing some of the songs.  My emotions are a little tender, thinking about the implications of this colon tumor.

I did some household chores and then headed to work at the pool.  It wasn’t blazing hot, but warm enough that I was uncomfortable.  I wonder why I seem to be more sensitive to these extra warm temperatures. 

My shift went a little longer than usual because late afternoon we lost power which put me behind on some pre-closing tasks and getting the computer POS closed.
Here is another good quote Shirley (who is going through cancer treatment) shared:  'He who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary.'

Monday 6/24 - I had not taken a sleep aid (which I have done several nights recently) thinking I should take a break from them and see how I did.  Well, I couldn't get back to sleep, waking at 2am.  So I got up and completed this blog 'intro' I had started the morning before.  I tried taking a nap before sun-up, but it didn't really work. 












I headed to the ranch at 5:30 and gave the horses hay.  Notice the moon in the first photo and little Wanda in the background between the two horses.  She follows all of us ladies around.
 

I was up at the house by 6am and opened the chicken coop and gave the girls some oats.  The automatic door opens and closes with the light, but we open the big door during the day to help keep the coop cool and aired out in the summer. 








I like this photo, showing the sun's rays hitting the shed, field, and yard as it rises.  And the mountain range in the background can be seen above the tree line.

I had my second cup of tea, read, and took a little one hour nap up in the ranch house. 






I was back down at the barn by 8:30.  I brought the two Pasos into the barn and opened the gate for Cowboy and Banner.  I got Zorro's new muzzle adjusted and did hoof care on Amiga. 




When I turned Zorro back out, I noticed a snapping turtle making it's way to the pond.  Zorro walked right by it, not paying it any attention.  And 'everybody' headed on their way (video).

Once home, I had eggs and cheese for a third breakfast, to give me energy for the gym.  And then while digesting, I read on the lounge chair out on the deck, until I got too hot. 






I came in, took another hour nap and then went to the gym.  As usual, it was slow going, but then once I got my blood flowing, I had a good arm and ab workout.

I had to keep moving to get to Mirror Lake Blast on time.  It was California Dreaming and a good time.  Clete giving the hula hoop a go while Micki watches. 





The first set started a tad slow but soon picked up steam with good dancing music, and I got an okay leg workout accomplished out on the dance floor, and even better aerobic exercise.  The yellow circle in the photo is around the beach ball in flight, that we dancers had going during most of the whole second set.

Tuesday 6/25 - Today was to be the moment of truth, to find out what I was dealing with and what the game plan was.  I had taken a sleep aid, so got a full, much needed eight hours.

Stevie 'lovin' on Maggie with tender kisses (bites) and lots of rubbing on her. 






And sweet Maggie just accepts the inevitable (un-predictable behavior) from all her cat friends. 

I was supposed to work the morning shift, but had news the night before that the pool would be closed.  This gave me time for a slow morning for a change.  So I took it easy, catching up with this blog and organizing questions I had for my doctor in preparation for a possible cancer diagnosis.
 

Stevie wanting to play while out on the back porch on her favorite perch. 

Mid-morning I headed out into the yard to busy myself and get some much needed work done out there.  Again I struggled with the heat and a low energy level, but just slowly plugged away and made some progress.





I showered but put on workout clothes and then headed to my doctor's office right by the gym.  In my anxiety, I realized I had left way too early, so I stopped at Robin Hood Park to see the progress on the Veterans and First Responders Memorial.  Nature soothed my soul.
 

My doctor was running way behind and I was still quite early, so I worked on filling out this l-o-n-g survey I got in the mail yesterday.  I had entered this study fifteen years ago and filled out surveys when they came.  I pitched the survey I got a few years ago, not wanting to take time for it.  It is funny how the timing of things can seem peculiar, but for a purpose.  So I decided to cooperate and answer all the questions.

Well, the news (I have colon cancer) wasn't shocking, but it was disheartening and quite a bummer.  Plus, as it turned out, most of my questions needed to be for the oncologist and would have to wait until after further testing.  So again I need to wait, and not worry.  Easier said than done.  However, because my path report had been completed on the 14th and most likely got lost in the shuffle at my busy doctor's office, (I didn't get results until the 25th and that was after calling and bugging my Dr.) I am definitely going to be more pro-active... even if that means being a pain in the butt.

I had planned to go to the gym after my doctor visit, and even though it was much later than expected, I went to let off some steam (stress).  Focusing on leg weights and then aerobic work on the elliptical, I didn't quite finish all I wanted to do before the gym closed at 6pm.

Once home and having fed the critters and walked the dog, I then took care of some phone calls.  One was to Britney, who had wanted to talk to me.  It was so good to hear how well (yet busy) her life was going.  I hated to break bad news to her, but decided to go ahead and tell her, even though I didn't know the extent of the cancer, prognosis, or treatment plan.  She was so glad I did.  I still debated spilling the news before I knew any details.

Wednesday 6/26 - Even with a sleep aid, I was only able to get six hours of sleep.  I prayed different versions of this 'I don't know prayer.'  At some point during my tossing and turning, I decided to go ahead and tell extended family and friends my plight.  I figured not only is prayer much needed, but there might be someone with good advice on how to proceed and local friends with recommendations on surgeons and oncologists.  Plus, any encouraging and optimistic advice or reflections was needed.      
I got this from a cancer support web site which affirmed my decission:
Should I tell people about my cancer?
Talking about your situation can help people support you. Talking can also make you feel better, as though a weight has been lifted off you, even if nothing has changed. It may also help you to feel less alone.
 

Having decided to tell people what I was facing, much of the morning was spent communicating via e-mail, texting, and Facebook messenger with various family and friends. 

Busted.  Misses Doe caught me, through the window, taking her photo. 

I was soon getting many responses (well wishes, offers to help out, and prayers) from so many of you all.  It was so good to know I wasn't in this alone. 
 

My boss at the pool said I should plan (when needed) to take a 'leave of absence' for the rest of the summer.

I sat here so much longer than usual, that I had to slide my computer over out of the sun rays.  Stevie, who has also had gut issues with diarrhea and weight loss, was enjoying them though.  

I called Dr. Davidson's (the oncologist) office.  They received my referral and biopsy results.  He is out of the office until tomorrow afternoon, which is when I am supposed to call back.

Making decisions and acting on them was helping me feel a little more empowered. 

Swallows on the line when I was out feeding and doing ranch chores.  I hit Food City on the way home.  I had read up on colon cancer pre-surgery diet, so picked up some of the suggestions.  Mostly my diet is pretty good, but I am cutting out as much sugar and processed foods as possible and all alcohol (which isn't much).  Going into this as healthy as possible will benefit my outcome.

Thursday 6/27 - I got seven hours of sleep (with the help of an aid) and woke actually feeling really calm and at peace.  Prayers were already at work.  It was good to have shared my burden; the responses were so heart warming and encouraging, and I knew the prayers were helping.  It’s wonderful that good things can come from bad.  I have been hearing stories of other's struggles, their fears, and some of their crazy experiences dealing with health issues and it has brought me closer to them and helped me love them even more than I already did.  Laughter and compassion are great medicine and I am very thankful that some good has already come from this bad diagnosis.

When I opened one of the umbrellas, working at the pool, I exposed this little bat.  Just before starting this (video) it yawned.  So cute, but it needed to go elsewhere for the day.
 

I had the sweetest family of five at the pool today.  They were competing in little swimming contests, and just laughing and having a good time.  It was a reminder to me of my family and all the wonderful times we have vacationing together.  I just love it when people are having fun and getting along so well.

As soon as I got home from work, I called the oncologist's office and the earliest they could get me in to see Dr. Davidson is the afternoon of July 8th.  So now I wait some more.   


I hit the gym for a few hours and then fed the critters and myself.  To aid digestion, I went on a 45 minute walk with Maggie while wearing the weighted vest and we saw this young buck when returning home.

Joe and I listened to the debate.  I was shaking my head at both candidates.  Trump was definitely more articulate but neither could answer some questions and both were too focused on demeaning the other; name calling, finger pointing, smirking at, etc.  Honestly, I don't know what to think about this election, except we need younger, less self-centered candidates.

Friday 6/28 - I was at the ranch starting chores by 7am.  After throwing hay to the boys, I had a very nice ride on Amiga, keeping it slow and easy because she is still acting sore.  The day hadn't heated up yet, so it was quite comfortable out, except the deer flies were really bad in the woods. 

Amiga getting a look at the shop all cleared out (with about 20 bales of last year's hay on the little trailer) and ready for this years hay.

 



We wait for the hay man to come and cut and bale our fields.  It is getting kind of stemmy but I try not to worry about getting it harvested.  Less rich hay is probably better for our horses anyway.

Cowboy was in a lesson, so it was just these three going out to graze once I was finished with Amiga. 

I joined Joe out on the deck for some sunning, deciding to to take a break from the gym.  I called the oncologist's (Dr. Davidson) office, wanting to stay true to my intention to be more pro-active, and asked to be called if there was a cancellation.  The nurse assured me I already was at the top of the list because Dr.Davidson wanted to see me as soon as possible.  Like most, he is a very busy doctor.

I was back at the ranch by 1:30 to meet the horse chiropractor (Katie) who did some small adjustments on both Amiga and Zorro.  Mostly, they both just have issues because of old age, although Amiga's right shoulder and withers were out because she is compensating for her sore left leg.  Katie checked Amiga's leg, and all the bones and joints were fine.  She thinks it might be soft tissue navicular, since the x-rays had shown that the navicular bone was okay.  I then told her I was putting all horse 'things' on hold (because of my diagnosis) and a very open, heart warming conversation followed, leaving me a bit teary eyed. 







Once home and done eating and doing evening house chores, I got showered and then sat on the front porch waiting for Shirley.  This is a lovely location I rarely take the opportunity to appreciate. 



Shirley and I enjoyed the well performed play Steel Magnolias, and you can see from this photo how close our seats were to the stage.  I like the intimacy of the small theater.  I made it through the tear jerking end of the play, only using three Kleenex.

Britney had shared this 'verse of the day' from her work.  It is a great one for me to embrace.
Joshua 1:9 - "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”