Sometimes my mind (not so much my body) feels like a hamster on an exercise wheel, running non-stop but not getting anywhere. And, in addition to never actually going anywhere, the hamster doesn’t win anything for all his running. It’s a mindless exercise in futility. 
When trying to make a big decision concerning our life, it is good to remember we will always miss 100% of the shots we don't take. So rather than worrying about a 'bad shot', consider that taking the shot isn't just about success. Sometimes we have to be satisfied with the accomplishments along the way; with growing, learning, and becoming better, from whatever shots we do take.
Because I have picked up six extra pounds since Christmas, for the past two weeks I have been trying to watch my diet and increase aerobic exercise, to lose the extra weight. Sticking to a weight loss program seems to be an exercise in futility thus far. While I am at the gym rowing, or on the elliptical, I watch others on treadmills, stationary bicycles, and stair climber, and I think what if all of this energy was put to good use. Imagine what could be accomplished. Even if we were all just powering a generator that could help heat or cool the gym. At least our efforts would have some kind of benefit. I guess knowing that I am burning calories, strengthening heart and lungs, and toning muscles, should be enough of a reason to carry on.
Saturday 1/30 - It was cold and gloomy out, so most of my day was spent here at my computer (on the hamster wheel exercising numerous thoughts)... thoughts about this blog which I got started, property investment, the up-coming installation of new living room windows, Courtney's health conundrum, and several other things.
The sun never came out, and I never got out of my pajamas all day long. Monita in the cubby looking for trouble and Stevie on the corner shelf hoping she won't be spotted my Monita.
We did have a family chat on Google meets. 
I was sad that Courtney, Dan, and Valencia were unable to join us, but appreciated talking with everyone else.
Mom really enjoys having Jean and her cats living with her. This is Parm snuggling with Mom.
It had started sleeting during our chat and then turned to snow, which didn't last long. But it was enough to make the 17th green turn white.
Monita loves playing with the fish toy from Patty. Here are two (videos) I took, but she stops playing to see what I am doing when I get close with my camera.
Since I had a big salad for a late lunch I ended up with popcorn for a late dinner while watching two episodes of Blue Bloods with Joe.
Sunday 1/31 - I went to the barn before 10am so I could pay board when Sarah was there to take my credit card. Since I was there, and it was going to be crummy weather for the next few days, I decided to just hop on Amiga bareback and go for a little ride. It was nearly 50°, but felt colder because of the dampness, cloudy skies, and breeze.
It was very wet, muddy, and slippery in many spots, so we just walked the whole time. I tried the arena, but it too was quite wet.
I didn't horse around long, maybe riding an hour.
As I was leaving, I spotted Zorro back at it again, sleeping in the hay pile. He is a goofy boy.
When I got home, I ate lunch and then started raking leaves that had accumulated in the back yard. This usually seems like running on the wheel of futility, but most of the leaves are now down from the trees and there aren't many left to blow across from the golf course and neighboring yards. So hopefully my effort will be longer lasting.
Two before and after photos.
I only got about half of this mulched area cleared, but quit at 2:00. There are several more areas where leaves have gotten stuck and piled up as they blow into the yard. I'll keep plugging away at removing them.
Then as planned, I made beer bread, switched out the winter snowmen decorations with Valentine's Day stuff, and did some neatening up around the house. As I was cleaning the kitchen, I was thinking this was an exercise in futility. Trying to get Joe to be a little neater is likewise futile. But I remind myself how much he does for me and am okay with cleaning up after him.
While sitting here at my desk after dinner, the cat alerted me to something outside the window... a Flying squirrel. I took a few photos and tried to get a (video), but lighting and reflections through the glass made it an exercise if futility. I love all the wildlife down back, but it is difficult to capture them on camera.
Last week before sun-up, I had seen what looked like a fox silhouetted down by the pond, trotting towards Allen's. Then the next day, I saw it again, heading the same direction, but after it was light enough to see for sure it was a fox. It moved through the back yard before I could even pick up my phone.
Joe and I watched more Blue Bloods before bedtime.
I made two visits to the gym, one before and one well after lunch. In the morning I did two hours of weights and in the afternoon it was an hour of cardio and then stretching and balancing exercises that I had skipped in the morning.
Joe was with me during my weight workout, and I had him take a (video) of the jumping pull-ups designed to increase bone density in osteoporotic patients. I am doing these to strengthen back and hip bones. Sister Carol had sent some recommendations from studies she found. I planned to send her the video to evaluate my form, and if the 'drop' was high enough.
I had hurried home from the gym in the morning to call Courtney during her lunch break. She continues to seek answers to her health problems and is trying very hard to maintain normalcy in her life.
Joe and I had decided to broaden our search for country property, so I did two hours of research on my computer comparing various stats including acreage, how developed the land was, lakefront or with a pond, the housing available and other buildings including barns, loafing sheds, out buildings, and even one has an indoor arena, etc. I also looked at the market value and assessed value and in some cases purchase price of properties recently sold. Joe was doing the same thing at his computer, only making a nice spread sheet for comparison. We both wanted to know what our money could buy in this area, so that we make a wise investment. We keep discussing it. It is a seller's market right now, especially here with people flocking to TN from the north. But I fear if the real-estate market tanks, we will have overpaid for property.
I got sidetracked again, my mind running on the wheel of futility, looking at country and woodland properties. Joe and I even toyed with the idea of a place on a lake somewhere between here and Nashville where we could meet the 'kids' half way. There are so many things to think about when buying another property... first and foremost, is it a good, safe investment. But also, do we want a second home to be able to use, or do we want to rent a house. I do not want to move because I love this house and location but it might be necessary if we need to liquidate more money by selling this place. Another question is, do we want to move our horses there? Again something I would prefer not to do because I love being around all of the wonderful people at a boarding barn, in addition to not having to take care of my horse everyday. Will additional property just be a place to work on, go to to 'play' at, have a garden, etc?
I was so engrossed in searching real estate on my computer, I nearly missed the herd of seven deer that came to eat and drink. I noticed them as they were leaving, and then another smaller group moved in (video).
With the need for more aerobic exercise, I went to the gym at lunch time, and did the elliptical for an hour while watching an HGTV home program that occupied my mind most of the time.
After carryout from Reds and more computer searches of properties, I read and Joe watched a movie to get our minds off real estate.
I wonder how many calories we burn exercising our mind, because I certainly did a lot of it through the night.
My 10:30 - 12:30 stint at the gym was rough. I was dragging, probably due to lack of sleep. But I pushed through so I could be ready to go with Joe on our 'drive in the country.'
Before taking our realtor's time to show us places, we wanted to see if they were even worth viewing. We had six properties to look at, and two were for sale by owner. We drove a total of about 60-70 miles, making a great big loop south and west of Crossville. We stopped to get gas at a little country store and one pump station, and it gave me a restroom break halfway along our route.
We did spend nearly an hour viewing one very unusual, rustic but intriguing property, that was for sale by owner. You could tell the owners were proud of what they had done, but that the 39 acre farm would be a lot of work, even without all the animals (35 dogs, herd of cattle, goats, horses, dozens of chickens and guinea hens, and this one pet pig).
Another property that really has us thinking is this 29 acre equestrian center. This photo is from the listing, and it is as far as we got and could see when we drove into the lane.
Meanwhile, back at Wildwood Stables, there was some horsing around. Zorro was trying to take a stick (end circled in orange) out of Cash's mouth. The silly boys.
Patty sent these photos that Carol took.
Our evening was spent discussing options, thinking of pros and cons, crunching numbers to determine what we could afford, and running the proverbial exercise wheel of thoughts. And we were beginning to wonder if it was a wheel of futility.
Thursday 2/4 -The day started cold and dreary. Joe and I took a mid-morning drive to run a few errands and to look at another property, much more conveniently located and in a very nice neighborhood. This is the view from the front porch of the newly built, log cabin home on 38 acres. You could just see the top of the mountains in the distance.
By afternoon, the sun had come out, making it look like a pretty day. But in spite of the beautiful sunshine and temperature up to 42°, the wind made it completely undesirable to go outside. I was feeling quite lazy for sure.
These photos were taken after waking from a nap on the floor in front of a fire. When I woke up, so did the dog and cat (Styx).
I made myself go to the barn. Several Saddle Sisters were there, but all the doors were shut to keep the wind out, and no one was going anywhere on their horse. Amiga was a dirty mess and required lots of time to get brushed. Jan was doing some ground work with Cash at the end of the barn, and a little later I rode Amiga several times around the loop inside the barn.
After dinner, Joe and I decided to give the mind spinning wheel of real estate a rest and watched two hours of Blue Bloods as a diversion.
This is what the floor in front of the fire looked like while we were watching. Stevie was on my lap, and they were all napping. But when I got up after the show and turned the lights on, the critters woke from their naps.
Friday 2/5 - I woke with a crick in my upper back, so put heat on it while I worked here at my computer.
Joe and I decided to go back and take another look at the neighborhood of the log cabin, so did so after first hitting Food City. I wanted to see how big the shooting range was. The entrance was about 1/3 mile from the cabin's drive.
The range was huge! It just kept going farther and farther back from the road. There were three different sections to it; something like clay, rifle, and pistol as I recall. Neither Joe or I thought this would be an ideal place to own property near.
Terry's property was still on our list of contenders, so it was our last stop on our circuitous route. Joe had not seen the house and it had been a long time since I had, so that was the main objective to our visit.
Look at Donkey! He looks like he is smiling. We visited with Terry and Billy for a bit and then got a tour of the house.
I was a little disappointed to see some of the fixes that were needed, but what house doesn't have them? And we are looking for some projects, but prefer the outdoor, yard type work.
The kink in my back had gotten tighter by the time we got home, but I decided to go to the gym anyway, to see if I could 'work it out.' There were two exercises that made it hurt worst, so I went easy on them. I added some extra stretching, but the 'knife in my back' feeling was still there.
The very big salad, for a 3:30 lunch, held me through the rest of the evening. The pink sunset could be seen reflected in the pond. Very pretty for about five minutes.
Joe and I decided to give real estate a rest for the weekend, or I should say, give us a rest from it.
Just remember, when on the wheel of futility, what ever you do, don't stop while at a full sprint. Gently slow it down. This will help you to relax and get to sleep quicker at night.
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