Lower Expectations

"The key to true happiness is lower expectations." This was from the Janet Evanovich book I am reading.  And it was a liberating thought for me.  I have always been one to have high expectations, elevated goals, and lofty hopes of myself and others.  I was taught by my parents and as a teacher that high expectations can result in increased effort, more persistence, and better performance. 

We all have expectations.  But I have found that high expectations can be happiness killers. 

"Lower expectations make it more likely that an outcome will exceed those expectations and have a positive impact on happiness.”  Dr Robb Rutledge 

The purpose of re-calibrating expectations is not to give me or others a free pass.  It's to free myself and others.  I need to adjust the way I think, to stop judging and stop expecting. 

According to support@silentjourney.com: " Expectations can really hurt us, because we can’t predict an outcome.  All we can do is do our best, living in the now and staying present." 

Saturday 9/10 - Tonight was to be the third try for the band 'Utopia' to perform at the Grove (Mirror Lake Blast location), after getting rained out in May and August.  The forecast did not look good, but I was still really hoping the show would go on.  But I kept telling myself... lower expectations, don't get my hopes up. 

When working with horses (or any animal), it is good to have a goal in mind, but not expect to reach it quickly.  We need to work at their pace, with patience and slow, gentle, calm demeanor.   Jean sent this photo while working with Robbie down by the pond, walking calmly in water.  She reported that Robbie did very well.

It rained all morning, and was supposed to clear off by 11:00.  I had switched shifts with Mike so I could go to the evening's concert.  The pool was opening an hour later than usual, but it still rained just about the whole time I was there, so no one came.

Mike relieved me at 12:30 and I went to the ranch to maybe ride with Jean and be there for our construction workers. 
 

It was still rather damp and drizzly out, and Jean was not feeling well from her 2nd Covid booster.  Also, Dave and Kevin decided not to work in this weather.  So Jean and I stayed inside working a jigsaw puzzle.  

Joe had brought Mike out to the ranch for a tour and then they went to Spikes to watch football.  I left the ranch about 4:30.

The guys were back at the house watching football when I got home (seen above).  I fed the cats and dogs and then headed to The Grove for the night's concert.

The band had put up these tarps along the side of the stage.  This is where the rain had blown in last time, creating havoc with their equipment.

Patty, Jean and eventually Joe and Mike joined me for the concert.  I got one slow dance out of Joe, but mostly boogied with Jean, Patty, and many other lady friends.  Utopia put on a great show, well worth braving the damp weather.  And actually, it had cleared off and was a pretty night. 

Oh What A Night, one of their songs, and it even cleared off enough to see the full moon rising.
 
 

Sunday 9/11 - I did not spend much time contemplating the 21st anniversary of this horrible day in US history.  I said a prayer for all those still affected and thanked God for everybody who came to the rescue, and reflected on the way our nation came together and was, for awhile, united.

Jean and I had planned to ride today, and with rain in the forecast all afternoon, we got going early, leading our horses down to the barn at 9:00.    

We soon hit the trail.  The usual puddles were full from the previous rain so it was another opportunity for Jean to work with Robbie.  We tried using Amiga to show Robbie there was nothing to be afraid of.  It helped some, but then Robbie would get scared and kind of panic, just when she seemed to conquer her fear and step calmly into the puddles.   






We had a great ride, going a little farther than usual (just over 4½ miles) and were out on the trail for 1¾ hours.  Some of our riding time was spent at puddles and practicing standing (which Robbie also has troubles doing).  It is best to take little steps, keeping our expectations reasonable, working towards a final goal. 

Dave and Kevin were hard at work up at the shed when we got back to the ranch.  It looked (according to the forecast) that rain would hold off, but I got the shed and field mucked of manure right away. 

Below photo, our sheds as seen from the manure pile. 





Joe, Mike, and Tango had gone to Nashville mid-morning, and Joe would not be home until the following day, so we prepared to keep the horses in the corral overnight.

I worked on the jigsaw puzzle with Jean for a bit, and then went home to shower and dress appropriately for the Celebration of Life at Rodger's house (for his wife Bobbie). 

It was good to meet Rodger's two daughters, visit (for an hour), and learn more about Bobbie.

I changed back into ranch clothes, loaded up Maggie, and shortly after I hit the road, did a U-turn to go get gas.  I had been driving on empty a few days and realized I was getting dangerously low on fuel.  This is the sky as I was heading down Peavine to Waggles. 

I was hoping to catch Dave and Kevin before they left, but the rain had started, coming down quite hard, and the guys were gone by the time I got back to the ranch. 

While waiting for the rain to let up, I had a snack and worked on the puzzle with Jean.  Once the rain stopped, I took some hay to the corral and got more for up at our feed room.  It started pouring again so I retreated to the ranch house for about another hour.  Jean was busy getting ready for her trip to CA and I knew I should 'get out of her hair,' but was waiting to feed our horses. 




In a light rain and wading through the tall pasture grass, I led Amiga to the corral, and thankfully the other two followed us.  They got fed and I retreated to the barn and chatted with Yvonne for a bit when the next wave of rain hit. 

Maggie and I didn't get home until almost 7pm.  I did my Sunday chores which includes gathering all the trash.  I also moved guest sheets and towels from the washer to the dryer.
 

Monday 9/12 - In addition to my usual computer time, I dealt with a number of other different things during the morning.  I had a later than usual workout at the gym, but it also went better than it has in a while. 

I enjoyed a late lunch and a little time reading in the sun on the back deck with Rose.  (Can you see her?)  The sun on a 70° day felt great.

Then I was off to the ranch, with Joe a minute behind me, to meet with Kevin and Dave who planned to come out around 4:00 to finish the shed windows. 

I had been very disappointed when inspecting their work the night before, because they had tried to put in a double window in this opening that Dave had cut and framed.  I had wanted a single window to swing out and hook against the wall.  He had misunderstood me.  Ugh (I needed to keep my expectations in check.)  They had hung what I hoped was temporary (unfinished) windows that were held closed with a board, and didn't look very good, nor did they open correctly.  

While Joe and I waited for Kevin and Dave to arrive, we hung the eight foot gate on the corner post.  We had to add a 2x4 to increase the thickness of the 4x4 post, to accommodate the screws the gate hangs on. 

Kevin and Dave arrived late (5:30pm) having been detained at another job.  They still had one more place to go (just down the road from us) so we suggested they wait to finish up our shed Tuesday.  We discussed the window modification, and they removed the two they had hanging in the old shed.  Then off they went. 
I love this new opening (seen above) in the old shed, giving additional light in there and allowing a cross breeze to blow through.  I just hope the guys can make a better single window than what they had come up with.  Joe removed the trailer from the work area, and  I let the horses in to have their second half of dinner.  I got home at 6:45.       

Tuesday 9/13 - I was out at the ranch by 9am to meet Bonnie and Susan who were going to bring Cowboy into the corral so he could meet Amiga, Zorro, and Robbie.  Once Cowboy was in the corral I led Amiga down to say hello.  They sniffed each other over the fence but there were no shenanigans, antics, or horsing around.  Zorro and Robbie had seen me bring Amiga over so they followed.  Then Zorro and Cowboy (seen in photo) did a meet and greet over the fence.  There was a lot more antics, squealing first by Cowboy (video) and later by Zorro, but generally they got along great.  The squealing is normal and considered desirable behavior. 
 

Joe and I used the auger on the tractor to dig one more post hole, and cemented in the final post for the forth wall of our shed.  Then I ran to town over the lunch hour and got feed for the horses, chickens, cats, and dog; hardware for the windows we were going to finish putting in the shed; and staples (not the metal kind, but the stuff you need in your house other than food - like napkins, toilet paper, shampoo, toothpaste, vitamins etc.)

I got home at 2 o’clock, unloaded what needed to stay here at the Flossmoor house, ate a late lunch, and then just had to sit down.  I was feeling very sore from my workout the day before. 
Stevie needs to lower her expectations for love and treats, because I have just been too busy. 



I was soon back up and heading towards the ranch to be there when Kevin and Dave were working.  I was digging a little two inch deep trench to put the two by six floor border board in when they arrived.  I wanted to be able to swing the gate open over the top of it, but also wanted it high enough to keep the gravel in the aisle way and the shavings in the new stall. 

I ran into a little difficulty.  The concrete around the wall post did not let me dig any deeper.  So this (seen in photo) was all the lower I could get the ground board to go.  (Later Joe raised the gate an inch and then it could swing in or out.) 

Joe switched out the auger for the bush-hog and started mowing our front pasture.  He was waiting on Kevin and Dave to finish, so he could pay them.

This is all the farther Joe got before time to quit.  The field looks so much better cut at eight inches high. 

And Kevin and Dave finished, with the big window in the old part of the shed.  So now it is just one window (this is a view of it from inside the shed).

And now it opens outwards and rests against the wall.  It is so much better, but by no means perfect.

I can't get this space to be deleted to move the photo up.  I hate Blogger sometimes!  I guess I should lower my expectations.

I had envisioned Dave using the old wall boards he had cut out for the opening (and was really hoping he could), to make the wood window so it blended in better.  Oh well. 

While Dave and Kevin were finishing up, I went in and fed Maggie and Parm.  Then I went down to the corral to bring in our horses and feed them. 

I used the riding mower, pulling the little wagon, to haul hay and feed buckets.  We miss the gator which is still in the shop.  It has been several weeks now, waiting for it to get fixed, and I don't feel we need to lower our expectations (time line) any more.  I mean, a few months to repair it seems more than reasonable.

There was a little kicking during the time it took me to put each of the food buckets out so each horse had its proper (separate) location in which to eat.  And when Zorro got done early and went over to Robbie's space, there was more kicking.  Then he went and moved Amiga off her bucket.  At least she had finished all her food. 
In this photo Amiga is getting a drink of water, as the sun was setting.

Oh, here is a photo of the feed room off our run in shed.  I had Kevin (with his staple gun) put up these slats that Joe had cut for me.  It will keep rain water from coming in through the cracks and getting the hay (we store here) wet.

Joe and I had beer and popcorn (for dinner) by a bonfire he started.  I closed the chicken coop after dark, Joe headed home, and Maggie and I slept at the ranch.

Wednesday 9/14 - I woke up before sunrise to a peaceful morning at the ranch. I went out and opened the chicken coop before they were awake and then sat in the sun room and watched the sun come up while I drank tea and had my breakfast. 

Once the sun was up I made a trip down to the corral to feed Robbie and give hay to the other two horses.  I came up to the ranch and had my 2nd cup of tea and read my book for a while.

Just after I went back down to let the horses into the front pasture, Joe arrived.

Together we put up the four 2 x 3 slats to finish off this wall forming a kind of fence.  We also put the eye-let bolts in to secure the gate to the wall.

Joe had to make a couple trips down to the shop to get more screws, some additional tools and a tape measure.  I filled gravel in on the front side of the bottom board and dirt on the stall side. 

Joe headed off for his afternoon of golf and then poker night.  I opened the gate so the horses could get back into their paddock with the sheds.  Zorro was quick to make an appearance, and inspect the new fence wall.

It was 11 o’clock by the time I was heading home from the ranch, and I knew I had too much to do before going to work, to be able to fit in a trip to the gym.  I decided not to expect too much out of myself in terms of the gym this week since I was going to be so busy out at the ranch.

 
I started a load of laundry, watered house plants, did some dishes and other general neatening up and then moved the well glued lamp (Monita had knocked off my desk and the resin base broke) back by my desk.  I tried to catch up on blogging since I hadn't had any morning computer time.  Well, how low do my expectations have to go in order to not get frustrated with technology and the internet?  I left for work feeling very disgruntled (didn't get any blogging done) because of internet/computer problems. 







Patty sent these photos she had taken while out mowing the yard at the ranch house.  Zorro had run into the shed to escape a horse fly and later all three horse were enjoying the shade in the shed. 


Work was slow, and easy with so few people there.  I was able to clock out a half hour early and went to the ranch to help Patty with our first feeding of Robbie in her new 'stall.'  It all went very well with Robbie, while Zorro and Amiga remained in their usual feeding spots.     





  

I also showed Patty what needed to be done to care for the chickens and Jean's cat, Parm.  We tried to get the chickens in the coop early, but some would escape while we tried to round up the other stragglers.  So we gave up. 

I headed home and Patty stayed to close the coop once the chickens went 'to bed' just before dark.  On my way down the drive, I saw a stick that I immediately recognized as a snake stretched out.  So I got out of the car to coax it across the drive.  It immediately coiled up and was shaking it's tail.  So I got a stick to scoop it up and move it out of the way.

Once home, I fed Maggie and my house cats and then went out to feed Rose who had been napping on the back deck, up in a lounge chair.  I also took corn down for the deer. 

I had hit the 'update' button for windows on my computer just before heading to work.  I had to tell it to finish the up-date, and then I was good to go with blogging. 

I took a pain/sleep aid (still sore from Monday's workout) and never heard Poker Joe come home. 


 

Thursday 9/15 - Patty went to the ranch early to let the chickens out of the coop and feed Robbie.  I worked a pretty slow morning at the pool.  Meanwhile, Joe went to the ranch to get the big trailer to get more hay.  He had stacked all the hay that had been on the trailer, on pallets to the side (seen in this first photo). 





Arriving back at the ranch, Joe took this photo from on top of our front wall.  He had a new gate for the front entrance which you can see on top of the bales of hay.  The old gate had gotten bent somehow and the bottom screw that holds the gate up had come loose from the concrete wall. 







Joe did a great job getting the trailer parked back into the tight spot at the back end of the shop.  We hope this is enough hay to get us through winter. 




As soon as I got off work, I went to the ranch to meet Bonnie and Susan.  We were going to try putting their horse 'Cowboy' with Amiga, Zorro, and Robbie. 

We were amazed at how calm the meeting went.  They got to see each other over the fence first and then when we opened the gate, Cowboy slowly entered the field and kept a safe distance from our horses. 

We three ladies just stood chatting and watching how the four horses interacted with each other, all the while not getting extremely close to each other.  In this photo, Robbie is 'pushing' Amiga away from both the boys.



Cowboy would gravitate towards our herd of three and they would take note and then keep eating all the while slowly walking away.  Then at one point Cowboy decided to go off exploring the field he has not been in for probably six months.  When he was up at the fence near our paddock area, our three went to join him (or investigate).  And they all appeared to get a drink from the 30 gallon water tub. 

Soon they were back down under this shade tree, eating and hanging out together.  Only once was there a squeal and that’s when Zorro went up to Cowboy and they smelled each other and they each gave a little squeal... and that was it.  They all look so peaceful together and like a happy herd of four horses. So we were all delighted at how well this turned out.

Another time, Robbie and Cowboy kind of went off together, since our Pasos tend to try and keep Robbie on the outs.  Jean and I had wanted Zorro and Cowboy to get to know each other, so that when we hopefully do an over niter camp and ride with the two mares, Zorro will have a friend.  The ladies are wanting Cowboy to have more pasture time, since Rio and Malso and getting little or none, so it is a win/win for all of us.

After more than an hour of watching horses, I went to do chores.  Later when Susan and Bonnie took Cowboy back to his paddock, he and Robbie were neighing/nickering to each other.  She sent me this and a few other photos I have used here. 



Joe had arrived and was bush-hogging when I flagged him down so I could show him how to do the evening chores and also what he needed to do the next morning since he was staying the night at the ranch.  He was getting back on the bush-hog as I left, and later reported he never could get the tractor started up again.  Seems like it’s always something, doggone it.  Just can’t expect equipment to run perfectly all the time; because it just won’t happen.  Lower expectations. 

Friday 9/16 - I woke before 3:30 and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up.  My surprise lilies were very late coming up this year.  So they were, in fact, a surprise.  I thought they had died off or something and I had kind of given up on them (lowered my expectations).  So, when they did pop up, I was quite happy. 






My morning workout started at 8:30, a lot earlier than usual. It was just an average workout, however when I reflected on the fact that I had gotten up too early and was short on sleep, I felt I didn’t do too bad.

I ate lunch on the deck with Rose who doesn't know about human food or begging, so she continued with her nap after moving into the shade. 

My 1:15 - 5:25 shift at the pool was busier than expected.  It has been getting more crowded again as the water and the air have been warming back up to summer temperatures. 

Patty reported that chores at the ranch went well and sent this photo.  Joe reported that several hours working on the tractor and installing the new front gate (with a new helper, also named Dave) did not go well and neither were fixed yet.  I hope his expectations hadn't been too high, but know he was a little frustrated.  He was off to play poker and once I got home from work, it was early to bed.