Friday, October 27, 2023

Tough Love

The week started with a wonderful sisters weekend, although it was just three of us.  We were missing Jean.  However, we had Courtney included for two of the days.  It was a very fun weekend with lots of lively banter, silly chatter, and actually a few tough conversations as well.  Tough, as in we were talking about ways we could improve ourselves (or each other), and it was tough love some of the time.  Basically, there are things we all could do, to help improve ourselves, but we are only in control of ourselves and there’s nothing anyone can do to change somebody else’s behavior. 

Nagging a person about their behavior is not going to change it.  That person has to decide on their own, to do so.  And it’s always a balance between when does constructive criticism become critical or destructive.

Some of the tough love, was with this new puppy of Carol‘s.  Originally I was thinking of naming my blog puppy love, because who doesn’t love a puppy?  Puppies are so adorable and lovable, which is a good thing for them, because they can also be quite challenging.  Like a puppy, our weekend was also lovely.  We had wonderful weather and lots of laughter and love. 

And they call it puppy love...
Like all ornery little puppies, Finn needed some tough love at times.  He had not been weaned when Carol picked him up at the breeder's (the breeder thought it was going to be the following Friday) so this little guy had to make some big adjustments.  His life had changed drastically. 









But he needed to learn to comfort himself and get to sleep on his own.  So there was definitely some tough love while getting him to figure out how to do this.  And it was tough listening to him whine, cry, bark and sometimes howl. 

During the days, puppy Finn was on the back porch much of the time.  And he had his new big 'brother' Rick to keep him company.  But Rick had to show him tough love with a growl or a snap at him at different times.  In this photo Rick is watching squirrels while Finn is finally quietly napping. 


Maggie also spent time on the porch with Finn, several different times. 






Maggie really wanted to play with him, but he wasn't exactly playing by the rules.  When he would bite and hang on to her ear, scruff of her neck, or side of her muzzle, she was too nice and would not correct him with a snap or growl.  She needed to manage Finn with some tough love.  




Finn really was trying, but puppies have a lot to learn.  So we'd put Maggie back in the house when Finn was getting to be too big of a pest to her. 



Maggie did enjoy the new selection of toys that Carol had brought. 





We humans (especially Carol) also spent time on the porch with Finn.  In this photo, Carol was not trying to block herself from view, but was explaining something to Joe. 



And here, Courtney was not needing to use tough love, but was giving tender nurturing.



Saturday 10/21 - It started out a tad cool because of the overcast sky.  I was slow to get going since I was a little short on sleep.  And then all the sugary pastries and third cup of tea were too much and I had an unsettled tummy. 


Carol did several puppy walks to teach Finn to potty outside and to wear him out for the next nap. 


We tried Finn on the back deck for awhile.


Again, Maggie wanted to play with him, but felt a little too pestered. 










Ouch, those puppy teeth. 
Man, was it a good thing he was so cute. 

Joe had gone to the ranch to do chores and check on the horses, after we had gotten reports of Banner mounting Mesa.  When they are out in the pasture, it is not a problem and for now, there was peace among all seen in this photo that Joe took.  But Banner had been scratching Mesa's back with his front hooves, and something needed to be done to stop this. 


Courtney arrived about lunchtime.  After we all ate, Carol, Courtney, and I went out to the ranch.  I had to drop the salad (for the night's dinner) off at the ranch house so we all got out. 

I showed Carol which chicken's were Jem's that she would be taking home. 


And the dogs got to run around in the yard for a little bit.  










Finn was really good about sticking close to us or the older dogs.  But he couldn't keep up and would tire out. 


Courtney scooped him up so we could walk down the lane to the barn. 








And
Carol took a bunch of photos (three of which I have included) of the series.


Susan was working with Cowboy in the round pen when we got down there, so of course we had to say hi and let her see Finn.  Cowboy said hi also.

Okay, this Blogger program has done it again, and won't let me position the next photo up in this space.  I can usually figure it out, after quite some time, and deleting and re-uploading photos, but I don't have time for this.  So I filled in this space with this short rant.

Finn getting his first look at a horse.



Two Cutie-patooties.














Finn was put in a crate in the tack room to give him a rest and keep him out of harms way. 






Courtney and I went to get our horses and Carol took photos.  Notice Zorro has grabbed the lead rope snap, which he does all the time. 






It may be kind of cute, but we have to use some tough love and correct him each time.  







And now he is leading like he is supposed to.  Good ground work is something that has to constantly be practiced, because horses will always be testing their boundaries and what they can get away with.  

When I got Amiga, she was closer to the corral, so I let her get a drink at the pasture water tank there and then continued through the corral to the barn. 

Amiga is usually pretty respectful when being lead, but has to be reminded not to rush and not to stop and eat.  If I am letting her graze, I signal that by pressing on her pole (the top of the neck just behind the ears).


Courtney and I tacked up our horses while Carol took lots of photos. 


Courtney had been conditioning Zorro for taking the bit (which we have had troubles with lately) and then when it was time, she went very slowly with him, not rushing the process.  And he did great! 




Her calm, quiet, un-rushed demeanor is so fitting to horse management/training.  I could certainly benefit from implementing her example more often.  I just get wound up, and forget in the moment sometimes. 





We did some round pen work. 





 











And when our horses were ready, we hit the trail. 



Carol took Rick for a long walk while Courtney and I enjoyed a wonderful ride. 









The weather was perfect, just the right temperature, and hardly any flies.  




Our horses were very well behaved, and it couldn't have gotten better than it was, with the exception of if we had been able to ride for a few hours instead of just 45 min. 









On the way back, we saw a partial deer carcass near Marmaduke, on a side road. 


Back at the barn we did hoof care in addition to other tasks that are part of un-tacking. 










Cathy and Ralph and then Joe came out while we were finishing up at the barn.  Cathy took this photo as she was coming down the drive to join us. 









Not a cloud in the sky, but the shadows were getting long and it was starting to cool off. 


A lady and her horse.



Here are some more photos taken by Carol as we were finishing up at the barn, that I wanted to include. 





My sweet Amiga. 







Rick and Amiga both waiting patiently to be done at the barn and move on.  





Maggie was also being very patient. 








But Finn was having a little more troubles containing his energy. 


What a little rascal. 










Cathy and Carol were both taking a lot of photos.  She got these two good ones of Courtney and I leading Amiga and Zorro back up to the pasture.


Come on, everybody look at the camera. 











That's better. 

Courtney and I put our horses in the front pasture, going through the corral. 








I really like this photo of our barn that Carol took.  We were finishing up and ready to head up to the house.

Below is also a favorite photo of mine from a series Courtney took of us three sisters and the three dogs.
























I drove the gator up so I could use it to run down to feed horses later.  So I thought I'd see how Finn would like sitting in it.  He was a little nervous about the height. 








Then I was messing with Maggie to get her to pose for a photo on Mama's memorial bench.  The dog wasn't having it. 

Finn was doing what all puppies do, chewing, but on my leather boots.  Even though he is very cute, like Zorro, tough love was used to stop this behavior. 








We were planning to have pizza and tossed salad for dinner.  Some of us started on a drink while we waited for Joe to arrive with the pizza. 


The bonfire was ready to go, so after we ate, I zipped down to the barn to feed horses.  Banner can be seen in the side pasture, separated from Mesa and the others.  








A look from the front yard, of the moon rising. 




T
he fire was going by the time I got back up to the house and I joined everyone.  It was a cool evening so the bonfire felt really good.  As always, the chatter, laughter, and stories were fun.

Carol and I were first to hit the hay when we got home.  I took a sleep aid with the hopes of falling to sleep faster, and also if I woke up in the night, I could get back to sleep. 


Sunday 10/22 - I had slept much better than the night before.  We were all kind of slow to get going and didn't have anything definite planned. 

Carol taking Finn out for one of many potty breaks. 






Cathy and I started and later I finished this puzzle.  It was only 300 pieces.  I also
ended up having three cups of caffeinated tea and then later in the afternoon, a cup of decaf tea because I was cold. 


We were hemming and hawing about going for a ride, going to an apple orchard, going antique shopping, or going to a winery.  As it turns out, we didn’t do anything, other than chat and walk and eat and laugh.

These photos are ones Carol took during our walk.
 




At one point, we got into some heated discussions as we were bridging some pretty sensitive topics.  I felt my sisters and daughter were getting kind of tough on me, but I knew it was from love, and helping me become aware of a bias I have. 




Carol made a very tasty but too spicy (for me) dinner.  Courtney had returned to Nashville, I ran to the ranch to do chores, and Poker Joe was gone.  Patty was still out of town, so it was just four of us for dinner. 

The evening ended similar to the last two, with TV watching and puppy crying.  I was too tired to stay up with Cathy and Ralph so went to bed soon after Carol. 


Monday 10/23 - Carol and I are early birds and sat and talked as the sun came up.  While waiting for Cathy and Ralph (who stay up late) to 'rise and shine,' I finished turning over puzzle pieces (1,000), which I had started doing the night before.  And I worked on the puzzle (something I can do with distractions and while chatting) off and on during the day. 




Once Cathy and Ralph were on the road, Carol and I loaded up Maggie and Rick and drove up to the water tower by Good Sams, and hit the trail.

Look at this photo Carol took, where we parked to go hiking.  What is that black thing in the sky?  I zoomed in and for the life of me couldn't figure it out.  Later, Jean suggested it might be a drone and Carol thought it might not be above the trees, but small and in front of the lens, possibly a mini wasp or mosquito.
 







It was a gorgeous day for a walk in the woods and I got too warm in my long sleeves. 




I stopped to answer some text messages I felt needed my attention. 







And then I tried to take a selfie of Carol and I, with the dogs on the bench, but they were too interested in her to turn around and look at me.
 



Both dogs had a great time on the hike, and did pretty well off leash, with a few distractions and running off after squirrels. 







The dogs too, got a little hot. 
Carol had brought water and a bowl, so they got big drinks before we loaded them up to drive home.


Once home and Finn got to go relieve himself, Carol and I sat on the screened porch re-hydrating and chatting. 










Sometimes ranch business can't wait, so I was on the phone with Mary and Brooke, looking for a solution to the Banner mounting Mesa problem.  I had hoped keeping him separated in the side pasture would suffice until after our company had left. 


As you can see though, I was a bit distracted by Finn.
He really wanted to see Stevie, but Stevie was not having it, evading him and hissing at him if he got too close. 


What's a puppy to do?  Well, there is always a shoe to go chew on. 




I had chores at the ranch, so late afternoon, we loaded up the dogs, and even Finn got to come with us.

We had leftover chili, 
potatoes, and Carol's salad for dinner.  It was a quiet evening and early to bed for us two girls while Joe watched football.

 


Tuesday 10/24 - This was the usual view out the window of the laundry room door much of the weekend when Rick was crated in the car.  He often sat on the front seat trying to get a glance into the house, rather than laying on his bed in back, to nap.

He was ready to head home this morning, but may not have realized Finn (and three chickens) would be going home with him also.


Carol and I got to the ranch sometime after 8am, and Jack helped us catch and load Jem's three chickens. 

Then at some time last night or this morning, it had been decided to move Banner down to the corral and later to join our herd.  So I skipped the gym and hung around to see how he did there by himself. 


 


Our three horses were in the front pasture and dropped by to say hello to Banner, who was actually more interested in getting back up to his old herd.  He was a bit wound up and pacing some of the time.  But would relax and look for grass to nibble on also. 



I had a gamut of emotions about how the morning had gone, it was rather late and I was not in the mood to go to the gym, so I saddled up Amiga and went for a wonderful 1½ hour ride. 


 



We explored an area that we haven’t been on in a while, and I was amazed at how many new houses have been built along one side of Beachwood Lane and Drive. 




When heading home, I was treated to a beautiful sunset as I drove up Lakeview. 








And as I was passing the Lutheran church, this big buck was thinking of crossing the street in front of me.  I slowed way down and he decided to go around behind me.  I think this is the ten point guy I see in our back yard quite often. 


Wednesday 10/25 - The only photos I took today were of Zorro getting his dental work.  In this first photo, after Zorro had been mildly sedated, Dr. Perry thoroughly washed his mouth out.

Susan and Brooke both did chores.  They kept Banner in the corral and put ours on the front pasture again so Banner could see them and they could continue visiting over the fence.

My morning computer time was cut short because I had to get to the conference center for the monthly Fairfield Glade board of directors workshop meeting.  A group of us equine people had planned to be there to hear about the future plans of Wildwood Stables during the General Manager’s Report and to speak up during the member question session. 



Open wide - a full mouth speculum is used to keep the mouth open.

The Interim General Manager was not in attendance, (sick supposedly) so his report was skipped.  During the question session, Mary spoke of the need for Fairfield Glade to do something about Wildwood Stable’s since Fairfield Glade is marketed as being an equine community.  Then Polly presented a great business plan as an option for FFG to take over running the stables when John retires (and his lease is up). 
After the meeting adjourned, eight of us went to Tony’s for lunch and to discuss how we could push the board to take on Wildwood Stables as an amenity, since they own all the land and buildings.
  And then figure out how to get them to make some desperately needed repairs.

Blah, all done though.

From lunch I went to the ranch where Dr. Nathan Perry (our vet.) was due to arrive for annual shots and any other horse care deemed necessary.  He was a little late and Cowboy went first so during that time there was more talk about Wildwood and also some ranch co-op business, how to
integrate Banner into our herd.  Then Zorro was next in line. 

Zorro was stalled while waking from the light sedation.  It is unsafe to let them graze until they are fully awake. 

When it was Amiga's turn, it was quick fall shots.  Dr. Perry also advised us about putting Banner with our herd, and said if Amiga didn't solicit Banner for 'sex' he would probably not try to mount her.  Dr. Perry looked at her eyes and said it is just allergy related seeping and swelling.  He gave me an idea on how to avoid further girth issues and said my horse is still 50 pounds overweight.  Ugh.

In the evening, while Poker Joe was gone, I tried to get caught up on blogging.

Thursday 10/26 - Brooke and I had decided to put Zorro and Banner together today.  They used to be in the same herd out at Wildwood, so we didn’t anticipate any problems.  There was one squeal out of both of them when they greeted each other.  And Zorro definitely took the lead role by moving Banner from a pile of hay.  Otherwise there was no further drama.
 




I opened the gate and Zorro and Banner went out on the front pasture.  Amiga and Cowboy, who were on the back pasture, seemed to wonder why Zorro wasn't with them, but neither got worked up about it. 



I kept an eye on Zorro and Banner while mucking and actually made a second trip out to the ranch to open the gate to the paddock for Amiga and Cowboy that I had forgotten to open.  Each time I looked, Z was grazing along the fence line where A&C were in the back pasture and B kind of stuck to eating near the fence line where his old herd Chipolte, Billy, and Mesa were. 



I even fed the catfish while watching horses.  Our pond is at least two feet shallower than normal.  We desperately need rain.

Once home, I ate a big lunch, took care of much-needed household chores and projects, and then went to the gym.  I had a fantastic workout, really pushing myself.  It felt great to just exert energy and release some of the pent-up tension and anxieties.


I was on my way to the gym when I remembered that I hadn't opened the paddock gate, so I went straight to the ranch first.  

 







When I let A&C into the paddock, they came in, got drinks from the pond, and then went back out for more eating.  I was glad to see both B&Z get a drink from the stock tank in the front pasture as well. 


Later in the afternoon, Susan picked me up and we went back to the ranch (my third trip out there) to feed horses.  I wanted to be there to help move Zorro back in with Cowboy and Amiga and get Banner to a stall in the barn where he will be fed. 





Everything went very smoothly and Susan and I had some girl talk time which was nice.

We returned Banner to the corral for the night and watched the moon rising as we left. 

 

Friday 10/27 - I was out early to the ranch because we were now going to introduce Amiga to Banner with Zorro in the mix.  Cowboy had a training session so he was going to be busy and we just thought we’d see how the three got along.  There was less drama than what we had seen between Zorro and Banner.  I guess mares just have a way of telling boys to buzz off.  But Amiga was not mean about it at all.  She had the mare glare and the ears back and Banner decided that after sniffing her a few times she wasn’t so interesting.


Banner did get animated for a few minutes, trotting around with his head and tail high.  (Showing off to Amiga who was unimpressed).  But then settled down. 








Zorro didn't seem to care about Banner and Amiga, and acted like he wasn't sure where to go or what to do with himself. 


Brooke and I got bored with the horses and decided they were all three ready to go out on the front pasture together.  All three were more interested in eating than they were in each other. 






Joe came out so we could winterize the corral shed because it was going to get down in the mid 20's in a couple of nights. 
We had the boards (used last winter) stacked in order and labeled by end and which side faced in.  So the five additional boards went up very quickly. 




Amiga and Zorro decided to go into the corral (not so much to check out the new wall) but to steal Banners hay.  I ran them off and shut the gate to keep all horses out of there. 



I just kind of hung around watching the horses and also watching Susan's trainer.  I was quite impressed with him and how he works with the horses.  In fact, when they were done with their lesson, and it was time to put Cowboy with Banner, Zorro and Amiga; the trainer actually walked Cowboy out, making sure that C was focused on him, listening to him and respecting him.  



When Pete (the trainer) released Cowboy, the horse first trotted over to Amiga and Zorro.  After eating a few minutes, C turned and made his way up towards Banner, and B walked towards C (videos).  Pete said they were testing each other's boundaries and how close each horse would allow the other to get. 





And then Cowboy made his way over to see what Banner was going to do.  When he got within about 20 feet of Banner, B decided to walk several steps in the opposite direction. 






Then Cowboy actually laid down right in front of Banner, rolled on the ground, and Pete said that was basically Cowboy acknowledging that he was in charge and was comfortable enough to lie down in front of Banner.  It was very interesting.  Cowboy got up, shook off the dust, looked at Banner and Banner decided to take some more steps away from Cowboy and that’s all that was needed to establish dominance. 


Training a horse involves some tough love, especially if they are going to test you along the way.  Having watched Pete work with Cowboy kind of inspired me to re-address the need for groundwork and to get back into doing more training with Amiga on the ground.

Once all horses appeared to be eating happily, I went to the barnyard area to get some work done.  Susan remained seated and watching our new herd of four. 



I did finally get two little cementing jobs completed while I was hanging out at the ranch to kind of keep my ears and eyes out on the horses.  They were rather boring, just sticking to themselves and eating grass.

I got the two cement sites prepped, and then mixed up a batch of cement. 




The first place was this large metal rod sticking up out of the ground in the paddock.  As the soil washes away, more buried junk is being exposed.  We had tried digging it up quite awhile ago but it is too massive under ground.  I had also tried covering it with sod.  But that didn't work either. 




So I dug around it (first photo) and put a glob (four shovels full) of concrete in, around, and over it.  I hope it will seem like a big rock sticking up, similar to other rocks we have in the paddock area.  






The second spot I cemented was by the wash rack, where gravel keeps coming in on top of the existing concrete pad. 
So I moved the gravel back, put a board across the opening, and held it in place with concrete blocks. 



This is what it looks like from the wash rack side.  The bottom board is temporary, acting as a form to hold the concrete in place till it cures. 
 




Then I put cement up against the bottom board, all along and under the actual bottom board that's nailed in place.  My project supervisor was inspecting my work. 

I checked in with Susan and she said occasionally different sets of horses would kind of paired up for awhile.  She got this photo of Cowboy and Banner actually quite close together, eating quietly. 


Susan headed home and I took Amiga out for a short ride.


The day had warmed up and the trees were a burst of color and there were a lot of leaves on the trail (video). 







I love all the colors in this photo, especially the blue sky. 












Maggie had come with us and usually stayed out in front.  It is good exercise for her and she seems to have a good time.  But sometimes I have to get tough with her when she takes off into the woods.  But mostly I just do an occasional bribe with a dog treat.

Sometimes tough love needs to occur when there’s a disagreement between friends.  It can be kind of rough, and no matter how much people love each other, it is not easy.  With equestrians it seems even more difficult because we are strong willed, bullheaded, determined women.  When there’s a difference in opinion, it can get rather dicey.  Alongside the tough love, needs to come compassion and care and empathy and mindfulness.

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