Make It Known

People who I don’t think know about my diagnosis will ask me how I’m doing and how everything's going?  How am I feeling, etc.  I hate to share with them the truth, because it can be difficult and catch them off guard.  And it kind of squashes the jovial feeling of greetings.  But they asked, and I am fairly open and honest.  So I make it known.  Right now I'm doing great, but I figure once I've had surgery, people are going to notice a difference in me and wonder anyway.  I don't feel I need to go around telling everything to everyone, but I'll share freely with those who show interest. 


God calls us to carry each other’s burdens, but that can't be done if the one who is down trodden doesn't share their struggles with others.

I have been very open and willing to share my diagnosis, not for sympathy, or to gain attention, but for support and understanding. 




Sharing our struggles connects us even more. 
It's too bad we don't have signs stating what we’re dealing with.  If so, wouldn't people be more compassionate?  Take for instance a car with a student driver sign on it.  When you see this, you’re much more patient and understanding of them when they stall out at a stoplight or take forever to make a left turn into traffic.  We all have burdens, some just more visible than others.  Everyone is dealing with some kind of physical, spiritual or mental difficulty; or maybe a little bit of each.  I hope my health issues make me more compassionate towards others who are struggling.

← Giving random complements... 
I like this idea that was posted on Facebook.

We should hesitate to judge others because we do not know what they have been through, are going through, or what they are dealing with.  Love, compassion, and forgiveness will go a lot further than judgment, condoning, and putting down others, even if we just do it in our minds.  Being so nice as to give complements will make a positive impact on someone, and even on ourselves. 

And most importantly, make it known to God - your fears, pains, and need for healing, as well as your thankfulness.

Saturday 7/13 - The buck stops here.  There were   seven of them down back while I sat here sipping tea.  

Many of them had some pretty good antlers growing.

Brooke had shared this photo, taken the afternoon before, when she was at the ranch feeding.  I hoped this mama found a safe place to take her babies.  Our upper pond would be a good spot after today, but how does one make this known to the ducks?

The three fields were ready for baling, with the plan to start at noon. 







I went to the ranch to give Amiga her medicine and realized it was my day to do morning chores.  Oops, I was a little late, but got it all done. And Amiga did much better with eating her medicine. 



As I was turning onto Chestnut Hill to go home, the hay man (with a baler) was turning onto Eli Ford. 

 

 

I hit Food city to grab food and drink for our guests.  Dan and Ava were already at the house, and had made themselves at home, by the time I got there.  (Vale was in Chicago for the weekend.)  Joe had already gone to the ranch, to get equipment out and start going on bringing in hay. 

He had troubles getting the truck started (dead battery) and the large trailer hooked to it.  When Patty got there, she took some photos of Joe bringing in the round bales.  The small trailer (with the rest of last year's hay) was off to the side. 





Courtney arrived shortly after I had gotten home and we had a quick lunch and then headed to the ranch.
Patty, Joe, and three of the helpers (Kevin, Dave, and Callahan) had already started picking up square bales.

Dan dropped Courtney and Ava off at the ranch house while I went down to the shop to help stack square bales.  (I had decided there was plenty of help in the field, and I would hold up better if I stayed in the shade.) 







Looking up towards the house, I could see the first load on its way.  The horses didn't seem to be bothered by the flurry of activity.

Courtney (up at the ranch house) Patty (in the truck and shop) and I, all took photos which show different perspectives. 

This is the 'parade' of equipment that went down the alleyway between the yard and front pasture. 

← Round baler     Square baler ↓

Second load of square bales. ↓
 

Patty's view while driving the truck in Jem's field as the men put square bales on the trailer.  ↓





Courtney was babysitting Ava, and working as hard as any of us. 

Ava enjoyed playing in the kiddie pool.  











Wardrobe malfunction. 



Marshmello break. 

Side pasture and Jem's pasture beyond.

Ava never slowed down, and neither did the guys bringing in the hay.  Heading back for another load of square bales after stacking a load in the shop.  ↓ 

These are photos Patty took of us unloading square bales the second time the trailer was brought down to the shop. 

 

The four guys went out with each load and I stayed back to rake and sweep up loose hay.  Joe went out with the tractor to bring in round bales and I helped direct him with stacking them. 









I took this series of three photos, showing the year's supply of hay stacking up. 

All total, we stored away 225 square bales and ten round bales.  ↓








Nothing feels better than a barn full of hay.  Well, I’m sure the news that someone is now cancer free is an even better feeling.  But I'll take this for now, with the 'cancer free' news to come later.

Joe backing the small trailer (of what's left of last year's hay) into the shop.










Dan had gone up to the house to relieve Courtney of Ava, and the three of them came down in the gator to see what the game plan was now that we were done with the hay and it was only 3:30.  We had such great help, it went much quicker than expected.

Ava wanted a horsey ride, but it was so hot and there just wasn't much time or energy remaining. 

I wanted to take a quick look at our two 'finished' fields and I thought a gator ride would be compromise for Ava not getting a horsey ride.

Dan drove and Ava and I had fun riding along.  There was a little bit of loose hay in a few spots in both fields, but for the most part it had all been raked up and baled. 









We had decided to head home and order out dinner.  The dogs were glad to see us.  Everybody hit the shower and then we ordered from Domino’s getting a variety of different foods, including pizza. Ava ate two full pieces all on her own.

The cats also checked out the action.  Well, Mama Styx stayed hidden most of the time and Monita watched from a safe distance, but Babe (on the rocking horse) was quite curious.  


Ava hadn't had a nap so went to bed earlier than usual and fell right to sleep. 


Courtney and I finished the horse puzzle with her doing the majority of the work and then she needed to head home (just after 9pm) and I went to bed.  I have no idea what Joe and Dan did, other than have a few beers and watch TV.

Sunday 7/14 - Oops, one more baling photo Joe had taken and sent me.  The middle tractor was raking the hay into furrows, the guy on the left was square baling and the one on the right was round baling. 









Ava was up by 6:30 which kind of surprised me, so I didn’t get any blogging done, but that was OK.  I had fun joining her for breakfast. 




I ran out to the Ranch to give Amiga her medicine and the 'boys' took Ava and the dogs to the park by the library building, walking up the hiking trail to get there.  



Ava enjoyed all the playground equipment. 


Eventually, we all headed to Dartmoor Marina where we met Patty for a 10:00 pontoon ride. 



Captain Joe and Dan in the back.



We girls enjoyed the sun out front while watching the scenery and wildlife.

Ava enjoyed looking for fish and other critters.

It was plenty warm, so we were soon to anchor and get in the water to cool off.  We all enjoyed the swim.  Patty took the group photo so wasn't in it.  












Ava really enjoys the water and is quite relaxed and confident in it, and able to 'swim' from person to person with her life vest on. 

 

Soon we were back on board to dry off and enjoy a snack with our drinks. 











We had only rented the boat for an hour, had gotten a late start, and were told we could keep it a little longer since no one else would be needing it.  So we didn't arrive back to the dock until almost 11:30.

Next, we hit the beach. 



Ava was quick to get in the water (videos). 

 

And poor Daniel never got a moment of rest. 

He is such a good father. 














It was nearing 1pm and time to get home for lunch. 




Ava was procrastinating, not wanting to leave and wanted to see the boats. 




So Papaw took her down the dock to say goodbye to the boats while Daniel got everything packed up. 






A gentleman offered to take our photo, so I joined Joe and Ava on the dock.  I'm not sure how he got the light setting to look like this, but it's kind of cool.

Dan wasn’t sure he could get Ava down for a nap at our house so he decided to pack up Ava and Tango and head home.
Joe left for poker.

I didn’t have to work at the pool cause I had worked Friday night, so I sat down to start this blog and next thing you know I was taking a nap on the couch.

After neatening up the house and working on laundry, while visiting Stevie out on the back porch, reading, I got tired again and took another little nap.

I did get three loads of laundry done, but even after two naps, it was early to bed for me.
 

Monday 7/15 - I was out at the ranch to do chores by 7am, and gave Amiga ½ her medicine.  She’s doing great eating it now, so I’m feeling much better about that.  Silly Wanda with cat food dust on her chin.

Once home I had a big protein breakfast and then worked on my blog for quite awhile.  Again I ended up taking over an hour nap on the couch.  This put me behind time getting to the gym, so I didn’t get in a full workout, skipping the elliptical.







Karen was at the house to pick me up when I got home from the gym and we headed back to the ranch so I could show her how to portion the new medicine on Amiga's food.  We just gave her the other half this time.  Again, Amiga ate it all up right away.  I am so happy. 



Walking up the drive to water plants at the house, I saw our 'resident' bunny, in above photo, and took a (video).

The evening was spent going through photographs of Daniel (he had requested some) from ages two to four.  It sure brought back a lot of fond memories.  Joe was such a great dad and we did so many fun things as a family and it’s been a blessing to be able to get together with all my family so often.

It was nearly 10 o’clock by the time I turned the lights out once I finally got in bed.

Tuesday 7/16 - I woke at 1:00, got out of bed at 2:15, and made much better progress on this blog. 
I napped out on the porch with Stevie from 4:30 - 6:30, and enjoyed waking to the sound of birds and rustling leaves.

Courtney took these first two photos on Saturday.  Can you spot Wanda at the wash rack?





I worked at the pool from 9-2 and got a little sleepy a few times.  Then I went straight to the ranch, and changed into work clothes up at the house.  However, instead of working, I took a nap on the couch.  Sheesh.

Thankfully, a phone call woke me in time to meet Susan and Dave down at the barn. 





I showed them how to feed Amiga her medicine.  Then as I was going up the drive to leave, I got out to shoo Banner (who was up at the fence at the corner of the yard and lane) towards the paddock gate. 



Banner joined up with the other three horses and then I got these photos of Susan and Dave driving (pushing/herding) them into the paddock.

I heated up some (low sugar) bake beans for dinner and don't know where the rest of my evening time went.  I have noticed that my abdomen has actually felt a little bit better the last few days and I have been able to eat more.  I also think I have more energy because of the iron pills.  I'll take these improvements.

Wednesday 7/17 - Jean and John's Birthdays' are today.  Susan posted this terrific photo she had taken of the four horses, waiting to go out on the pasture. 

I had a great morning workout at the gym, and miss being able to get there earlier.  I’ve discovered when I go in the afternoon, which I’ve been doing a lot lately, I don’t have near as much energy. 





I ate a quick lunch and then went to the ranch to meet Tyler.  His truck was parked by the garage and he was working on Jem's front entrance by the pond.

I removed Amiga's grazing muzzle and then met with Tyler to review the 'game plan.'  First they would cut down the scraggly pine tree growing so close to the nicer one, and also crowding the ditch area. 






I had showed him where to dump it, and then I got to work moving some gravel near the front of the barn where he would be digging a shallow ditch.  While I worked, Jeff came down to dump the tree load. 

I had wanted to take Amiga for a little ride to see how she was doing. So we headed out under the tower to Hathaway.  There was a nice breeze but the sun was a tad warm out on the road.  











Before getting to Marmaduke, I turned off the road and took Amiga on our woodland trail (video).

She was very willing, but favoring her front left leg worse than usual, so I only rode ten minutes and kept it at a walk.  Here we are stopped to look out at our back pasture, nicely cut with all the hay harvested. 








When I got back to the barn with Amiga, I gave her a Previcox.  I could see that Tyler and Jeff were progressing further down our drive with the ditch work.

I put Amiga out with the boys, who didn't seem bothered by the noisy excavation equipment. 










I took more photos of Tyler and Jeff working.

Once they were finished digging the ditch, Jeff dumped the load of rocky dirt they had removed. 










Now we have a brush pile and a dirt pile.

Then Tyler came down to the barn with the back-hoe to dig a trench in front of it to hopefully 'wick' the water away so it doesn't run through the barn. 









He had started to fill the ditch with rock we have, but I told him Joe could do that, we're trying to save money anywhere possible.

I wasn't sure this was deep enough.  I guess we'll see.  The two workers left and I got started on chores. 










Wanda the wonder cat, is such a silly girl. 

I fed Wanda once finished with the horses and then headed up the drive to care for the chickens.  I hopped out of my car to get a few photos of the lane and ditch. 
Tyler wasn't done yet, but had made nice progress on the ditch and grading the edge of the drive so water will run off of it.

This is looking up the drive towards the house and chicken coop. 






This is looking down towards the barn.  You can see the stump of the pine tree that was cut down. 






Tyler actually had the ditch deeper, but kind of filled it in when he graded the drive.  He planned to dig it back out tomorrow.


It was an unremarkable evening.  Poker Joe was gone and I did household chores and read in bed.

Thursday 7/18 - CAT scan day.  I hadn't eaten since before bed and had to drink 40 ounces of water an hour before my 10:00 appointment.  At least I was allowed to pee. 

I made it through the whole thing.  They had to move the IV to a different blood vessel and put a warming blanket on me because I was shaking, mostly from cold, but maybe from a little anxiety. 

I ate a sack lunch and continued drinking plenty of water as instructed while I did some shopping.  Once home, I took a much needed rest on the porch swing.  I go out there to keep Stevie company.  Mama Styx had followed me, and beat Stevie to my lap.

I was woken up by a call from Dr. Davidson's office.  He had gotten the scan results, and had now ordered a PET scan.  This immediately made me concerned that they found something on the CAT scan.  I kind of panicked and my anxiety meter went up another notch.  I made it known to all my supporters, what the next step was.  So now we wait for insurance to approve me and then set up the appointment and yada yada yada.  I wish I knew how advanced and involved this cancer was.







I went to the Ranch to show Brooke how to give Amiga her medicine, and got a photo of these three while helping get them in off the pasture.

I also got some photos of the finished driveway and ditch job. 



Within a half hour of texting people, I had gotten so much positive feedback.  Three different people told me that this is all part of the diagnostic process and an indication of how thorough Dr. Davidson was being so he can give me the best treatment possible.  The Pet scan will give him a clearer image.  It's what he really wanted from the beginning.  It shows a different type of information concerning the tumor, than the CAT scan.  But this is typical of how insurance works, you have to do one before the other.  Anyway, I felt quite a bit better about it.  I just can’t wait until we know exactly what we’re dealing with and can then start dealing with it.  I am so blessed to have so many who care about me. 




The drive looks great. 














But I'm a little disappointed  in the ditch work. 

These are looking at the ditch from both directions.  I thought it should be a little deeper and feel it could be much neater.  



















But it is definitely an improvement.  I'll hold judgement until after our next 'gully washer.'

I had dinner out with the girls (Judy, Patty, and Shirley). We are all going on a cruise in February together, (and also sister Teresa).  We talked three hours straight without stopping, reminiscing about past cruises, cowgirl times together, and reflecting on so many other things.  We laughed till we cried and had a great time.

I was late getting to bed and dropped off to sleep right away, feeling so blessed.

Friday 7/19 - I worked the morning shift at the pool since I had to switch to get off work yesterday morning for my scan.  It was overcast and cooler, so business was slow.     

A few photos from the ranch since I didn't take any all day.  This Rose of Sharon is so pretty. 









Here is the finished ditch work in front of the barn. 




I was home long enough to change and drink a glass of milk.  Then I spent nearly three hours at the gym getting in a really good workout.  In addition to not having as bad of gut aches, I have put back on two pounds. 






I really needed to work on this blog post to get it finished and posted, but my James Patterson thriller has become very captivating, so I read in bed longer than usual.  I had various cats (except Stevie who is confined to the porch) visit me.  This is Styx. 
I fell asleep knowing I am in good hands with God and loved and supported by so many.