However,
anticipation for the future, when it is unknown and a bit scary, has a
different feeling. What do I face with tumor removal and cancer
treatment, can I ever get Amiga sound and out of pain, what should I do for Stevie, will we ever get our hay cut, baled and in for the year, and
then there are things totally out of my control like the elections,
climate change, economy, etc.
To help nurture and strengthen my sense of hope, I focus on building a positive mindset. I remind myself of my blessings, think about what I am hopeful for, and tell myself this (health issue) isn't forever. I try to control what I can, turn to faith and spirituality, combat my negative thoughts, and make and take time for fun.
I saw this snake on the trail just after we went out through the back gate. I thought it was a copperhead, which was later confirmed by many on the Facebook Watchable Wildlife page. Yikes!!
I turned Amiga around and we got out on the Glade back roads using our very overgrown 4-wheeler trail. Amiga started out stiff and sore, but felt good for awhile (on the smooth and flat) but when I took her down and up hill (video), she felt lame. Shoot. I kept the ride slow and short.
Zorro and Cowboy were in the shed when I arrived back on Amiga. She went straight out for a drink and to cool off in the pond and Cowboy followed her. Zorro chose to stay in the shade of the shed.
I chose (needed) to rest rather than go to the gym in the afternoon. I did do some laundry, read and napped.
At 5:30, it was off to The Grove for The Heels concert. Shirley and Patty met Joe and I there. 
It was another 'full house' as people congregated on the hill to watch and listen. These last three photos were posted on Facebook by Vernon Martin. 
I knew this was going to be more of a listening concert, so was thrilled when they did do several songs we all could dance to.
Boy could these three ladies harmonize, and the songs they'd written had some powerful lyrics.
I've noticed that the more I am up moving around, the better my gut feels. But I've also found my energy level is less than usual. What's next with my body?
Sunday 7/7 - Unable to fall asleep, due to some gut pain (and anxiety) I finally took a pm pain pill and then slept great, not waking up until almost 7am.
Susan sent this photo of Amiga eating hay laying down. Was this breakfast in bed or was she hurting more than usual?
Shirley and I enjoyed church together. Once home, I noticed Stevie in this little cuby of the cat post, an unusual spot for her. She seems to want to be left alone.
I was off to work at 1:30 for another very busy day at the pool. When temps are in the low 90's, it's to be expected.
The clouds moved in before 5pm and we got a lovely, long lasting, gentle rain shower. All my customers had cleared out by 5:30 and I was done cleaning before 6pm.
The rain had been so calm that Maggie wasn't even worried when I arrived back home.
After the cats, dog and I all ate, I took Maggie on a long walk, wearing my weighted vest for added exercise. 
A pretty sky with steam rising up off the mountain.
I decided another pain/sleep aid would be necessary to get the rest I need before my appointment with the oncologist the following day and I would learn 'what's next' for me = a treatment plan.
Monday 7/8 - Our over-nighters were just heading out when I arrive at the ranch at 7:30. I threw hay to the horses and then went up to the house to strip the bed and gather towels and trash. They had left very little mess.
Not too much later, I was back down in the paddock mucking and letting the horses out (video). I did some weed whacking until the battery died and then came home to change for the gym. I was on a time limit.
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I had to push to get through my workout and shower before Joe and I headed to Dr. Dirk Davidson at TPO for my 2:15 appointment. My first impression was a little shaky, with it seeming like this tumor was no big deal and there was no rush to remove it.
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But soon it was apparent that Dr. Davidson was willing to speed up the 'process' and he even called Dr. Gregory Midis, a surgical oncologist with Premier Surgical at Fort Sanders Regional Medical Center in Knoxville, TN. He specializes in the surgical treatment of colon (and other cancers) and has over 30 years of experience. He was willing to take me as a new patient and both doctors were excited about my tumor genes being MSI-H (microsatellite instability-high) and MMRd (mismatch repair deficient).
People with MSI-H and MMRd colon cancer have a better outlook than those with other forms of colon cancer because they can be easier to treat because they respond better to immunotherapy. Patients are less likely to experience a recurrence of their cancer and evidence shows that MSI-high colon cancer tumors rarely spread or metastasize. This was good news... so what next?
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Both doctors (independently) stated I needed to have a
CAT scan to determined what stage my cancer was at, so a surgery and
treatment plan could then be devised. It looked like it would be over a week
before the hospital would even call to schedule it, so more wait time.
We were going to hit the new vet open house on the way home, but had gotten groceries first and decided it was going to be too crowded. This photo was taken by the Glade Sun. I was glad we had decided against the wait.
After a small but healthy supper, I made it to Mirror Lake Blast with plenty of time to spare. Soul Soup, a favorite here, was playing.
Joe, Patty, and Fran sat with Donna, DJ, Micki and I. We were center front of the stage. I danced most of the time, but was thankful for the slow songs to allow me to sit and rest.
I was using my new cuzie for my water bottle. Micki had bought me this at the Heel's concert.
Soul Soup played until a little after 9pm. It was after 10:00 by the time I was home and going to bed.
Tuesday 7/9 - I called the hospital before going to work. The earliest they can get me in for the CAT scan is July 18th. It seems nothing moves fast in health care.
I drove right past the pool and was nearly to the ranch when I realized I was going to the wrong 'work' place. Ugh. I guess I just have too much on my mind.
A photo of Bob-B (delivering supplies for me) with an extra mop head for hair. You never know what's next with him.
My shift started out being very hot but then it clouded up and was much more tolerable.
I took a 90 minute nap once home. After dinner, Maggie and I went on nearly a 90 minute walk. I had my weighted vest on and did some hills, so had a decent aerobic workout.
We were on the Seven Bridges and St. George trails. The creek was mostly dried up but there were several large water holes that Maggie enjoyed cooling off in.
We saw plenty of deer and I never tire of all the cool rock formations and beautiful woodland. Maggie and I both wonder what's next around the corner. The wind had picked up which brought some relief to the heat.
It was windy and raining some by the time Poker Joe got home after midnight. I had turned off the air and opened windows, some of which then needed to be shut.
Wednesday 7/10 - Babe and Mama Styx watching a chipmunk at the feeder.
My abdominal bloating and pain continues to flair up, causing concern, but walking around and staying active helps reduce the discomfort.
I decided since I now had a CAT scan scheduled, to call Dr. Davidson to see if I could get on his schedule for right after the scan, and before he leaves on the 25th for the Olympics. They wouldn't do that, but they would call to get me on Dr. Midis' schedule. So that was progress.
My concern for Stevie (seen here eating) grows, and I continue to clean up more and more frequent fecal messes on her and where she has been. I kept hoping the new vet clinic here in the Glade would have been open by now, so know I have waited too long to have Stevie looked at. I made phone calls to seven different vet clinics, with very little luck... "no new patients, want to do a costly start up exam for new patient, no openings until September," disconnected because he’s out of practice, one had a full voicemail box., and one I hung up on because I was on hold for over five minutes.
Monita - my sentiments exactly, what next and can't I just take a break?
Tropical storm Beryl brought more wind than rain, but also lowered the temperature a nice amount, with the high only in the mid 80's. It was cool enough that I read and rested out on a lounge chair for awhile.
I didn't get to the gym until 2:30. Afterwards I went straight to the ranch, arriving at 4:30. The horses were all out on the pasture, but came when I called.
I took this series of photos, zooming in on Amiga, who was watching something beyond the barn.
Her ears are rarely forward this long. She looks so pretty.
And I love the softness of her eyes.
Although up close there is a concerned look about her eyes at this moment. I wondered what she was fixated on. 
I got back home before 6:30, and we all (cats, dog and I) had a late dinner. A thirty minute walk (with Maggie) was enjoyed and helpful.
I fell asleep with opened windows, cool breeze, and the sound of leaves rustling, while frogs and crickets chirped and hummed.
I worked a hot shift at the pool and took an hour nap once home.
The Osteo-Max for Amiga had arrived in the mail so I went out to the ranch to give her some. As expected, it did not go too well. A friend had advised to start with a small amount and give her a few days to get used to it.
It comes as a viscus liquid that I put on top of alfalfa pellets. Once it dries out it looses it's efficacy. After giving Amiga nearly 20 minutes, I decided to put Zorro in and see if he would eat it (videos).
It is very expensive, and could actually help him out too. After a bit, he decided it wasn't so bad, and finished it all off.
Something had caught A&Z's attention, and I could hear machinery of some sort off in the distance. Come to discover, our hay man had finally come and was cutting the back pasture. Yay!
Once home, I took a fair amount of time setting up the back porch for Stevie. She loves it out here, so shouldn't mind too much being confined to this space. I brought out her favorite bed and perch, an extra shelf unit for high lounging, litter box, food and water. This way I can monitor her food and water intake as well as her bowel movements and amount of urination. Plus, there will be much less areas to keep cleaning up.
I had a nice chat with Britney before calling it a day.
Stevie seemed a little lonely when sitting at the door looking in from her confined space. Although, once settled into one of her spots, she appeared more content. I had recently started her on a new probiotic (since she was now refusing the other I had been giving) and I thought just maybe it was making a small difference. However, there were still several 'poo drips' I had to clean up.
I went to the ranch to try giving Amiga the Osteo-Max when she was most hungry. I was much relieved and thankful that she actually ended up eating all of it. She reacted at first, but then decided it wasn't so bad (video) similar to what Zorro had done the night before.
I led her to the corral which I had opened to the front pasture, so the horses have additional shade, especially when we close them out of the paddock while bailing hay Saturday.
Before leaving, I scanned the fields (and took photos from up at the corner of all four pastures) of the cut hay. Here is the side pasture.
And below is Jem's field to the left and our back pasture in the photo on the right.
It feels so good to have the hay cut. And with no rain in the forecast, the hay guy is going to let it dry all day today, and bale tomorrow.
Maggie and I checked on Stevie and I sat with her for a bit, to give her company and some loving.
I made two phone calls and was able to get scheduled for a consultation with the surgeon (Dr. Midis) soon after my CAT scan, which will be done next Thursday. So I was feeling better about my future, knowing more answers were soon to come. I also felt more positive about Amiga and Stevie.
I didn't have as much time as desired for the gym, but managed to hit all the weights I do for arms, legs, and abs. I cut my elliptical short and skipped my stretch and balance. Then I hustled to get to the pool by 2:30. I was covering Sandee's shift and working the pool party (I had been asked, at the last minute, to do).
I had been invited to, and planned to attend this party. Working it, I wasn't able to participate in the games, but I was getting paid to be there.
It was a good sized crowd, an enjoyable group, and fun to watch and talk with all of them.
I did partake in some good food and at the end, got a lot of help with moving tables and chairs back, and general clean up.
Picking up dropped food, cleaning up spilled drinks, taking out trash, and cleaning public restrooms is not fun, but part of the job.
I took a much needed shower once home at 9:40. I sat out on the back porch with Stevie, reading to wind down and let my hair dry.
"Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and take as a gift whatever the day brings forth." Horace
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